Who's the Real Todd?, Ch. 24

Jack looked sick. He had been avoiding his mom all morning and when she didn't yell at him at breakfast he figured she hadn't heard about the day before but from the looks on Samuel's and Tea's faces the jig was up.  He had nothing to lose, he tried to bluff his way out of trouble by pleading ignorant. "Hey mom, I don't know what you mean. I came because you told me I needed to be here but I don't know what's going on." he looked at his mom and then he caught the look in Samuel's eyes. He was in for it.

Todd knew from the moment that Jack spotted Tea, that his son was guilty. Now he needed to know exactly what Jack was guilty of.  "Why don't we all sit down. Tea is here to tell me all about it. You might as well hear what she has to say too. Tea, the floor is yours."

Tea looked at her stepson and felt sorry for him. Somewhere along the way, Jack had gotten lost and all the adults in his life were to blame with the exception of his real father. Todd hadn't asked to be separated from his son and he was still trying to find a way to reestablish that relationship. Tea knew how important Todd's kids were to him and this was going to tear him apart. "I'm not sure where to start. Yesterday Jack and I were visiting his father when we ran into Shane Morasco and his dad. Jack blurted out his surprise at seeing Shane and suddenly red flags went up all over the place. Shane informed his father Rex, that the cyberbullying had taken a different turn and that Jack was still behind it. When Shane said his mom was aware of it, they all got worried because Gigi was supposed to meet them so she and Rex could get married. Gigi, it seemed, was missing. Rex borrowed my laptop and brought up Shane's my face page only to find an invite to some party from a girl online. Shane claimed the girl was really Jack. Rex took off to look for Gigi and Jack and I went for our visit with Todd. I informed Todd about Shane's suspicions and they chatted and then Todd informed me that Shane's suspicions were true. Jack had engineered a trap for Shane only it looks like Gigi got caught in it. Here's where things turned bad. Rex found Gigi but she was unconscious. She was taken to the hospital." Tea paused. Blair was looking stunned and Todd had gone eerily still, just watching his son. Starr too was looking stunned and scared about what her brother had done.

Todd sensed Tea's hesitation and knew the reason. He had been watching Jack. The boy was fidgeting and looking at everything in the room to avoid eye contact with his family. Jack was scared. If the rest of Tea's news was what he suspected, then Jack better be scared. "Go on Tea, don't stop now. What happened to Gigi?"

Tea cleared her throat and looked at Blair knowing how deeply this was going to hurt because she was hurting too. She loved Jack but she wasn't sure if he could be saved from this situation. "Rex found Gigi in a sealed room with a running generator. There was no ventilation and therefore the room filled with Carbon Monoxide. I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am. Gigi is gone. She was pronounced brain dead last night."

"No! It can't be. Gigi can't be dead. Jack, what have you done!" Blair cried. Starr grabbed her mom's hand and together they looked at Jack waiting for some explanation that would make sense.

Jack saw how hurt his mom and sister were and he knew how angry his dad had been last night. But what really scared him was the look in Samuel's eyes. He saw anger and pain in those eyes and then he saw pity. Samuel's reaction scared him the most. He had expected an explosion from Samuel. He had witnessed Samuel when he was furious. He figured Samuel would be as mad as his dad. But Samuel looked like he had been kicked in the gut.  He tried to make excuses. "Mom it was just a prank, we just thought Shane would spend the night and be none the worse this morning. I didn't know there was a generator in the room. We didn't turn it on. Mrs. Morasco did. I didn't mean anything to happen you have to believe me. We just thought Wheezy might get scared and need to use his inhaler. It was just a ..."Jack's voice petered out. Everyone was looking so disappointed in him, but the one that bothered him the most was Samuel's reaction. "I..." he stopped because Samuel met his eyes and held up a hand stopping him.

Everyone turned their gaze toward Todd. "Don't Jack, there's no excuse that you can say to get you off. Your actions have caused a tragedy. This isn't going to be fixed with an ‘I'm sorry.’ What you did was criminal negligence and there are going to be hard consequences to face." Todd looked at his son, "Do you understand what happened, Jack? I mean really understand. Jack, you killed someone. Do you get that?" Todd looked directly at Jack when he said the words. "You're never going to escape it and it will haunt you the rest of your life." There was such agony behind those words as Todd's voice cracked a little. Blair and Tea knew Todd was remembering his part in Suede's death.

Todd stood up and walked to the window lost in thought, thinking back to the anger and impulsiveness that caused him to react violently against Suede all those years ago. In his mind, he saw Suede hit the podium and then fall smashing his head against a wrench. He remembered the horror he felt when he realized Suede was dead. Now he saw his son facing that same horror, but as of yet it still hadn't sunk in for Jack and when it did his son was going to be a mess. At least he prayed for some reaction that would show Jack had some remorse for Gigi's death. He could help if Jack was remorseful but Todd was so worried that Jack still was in denial of any wrongdoing on his part and if he failed to recognize his part in Gigi's death there was no telling if he would ever see it.

Jack looked helplessly at his mother. She and Starr had tears in their eyes but they said nothing to him. Tea just shook her head.  She had talked with him the night before and he still couldn't see how he was responsible. Jack was counting on her and his dad to get him off and Tea was fearful her Todd just might do exactly that. "Well, I came to clue you in. Rex is going to be out for blood. We need to be prepared if charges are filed."

Todd turned to look at her. "What are his chances? How much time is he possibly looking at?"

"I don't know, it depends on if they charge him as an adult and what they charge him with. Like I said. Be prepared. I'm sorry." She hugged Blair and Starr. She worried about Todd but he had Blair and Starr and the three of them might be able to get through to Jack. She really hoped so. She left shaking her head at Jack, as she let herself out.

Todd looked at Blair and Starr. Blair saw a look in Todd's eyes that spoke volumes. She sensed the anger that Todd was currently holding in. She knew he was furious with Jack's lack of concern, and she also knew Todd was struggling to come to grips with his own feelings of frustration because he had failed to be here for his son. She felt some of those same feelings because she had failed Jack too.

"I need some time alone with Jack," he said. "Maybe you two could take Hope to the park and come back in about an hour."

"Todd are you sure you can handle it?" asked Blair.

Todd's look was bleak but his voice was firm. "He's my son Blair, do you really need to ask?"

Blair's eyes filled with tears, she knew she had hurt him just then.  It was too late to take the question back. She stood up and walked to him. "I'm sorry. That was unforgivable. I hope you can get through to him." She kissed his cheek and she and Starr departed.

Jack felt very vulnerable. He was alone with Samuel and this time, there was no one he could go to for support. He had been scared of his father the day before, especially when his dad had yelled at him, demanding to know if he had trapped Gigi. This was worse because he sensed that the man in front of him was capable of even more violence. He had caught the exchange between his Mother and Samuel. He knew that for one moment his mother had been afraid for him. She knew his real father and what he had done in his past. Jack was worried that he was going to find out just how bad his father had been.

"Come here Jack," said Todd as he made his way back to the window. He turned back when Jack made no move to join him. "You don't need to fear me. Unless you make me angry. You don't want to make me angry. Now come here."

There was something chilling in Samuel's tone that said if he didn't move on his own he might be very sorry indeed. Jack quickly moved to stand beside Samuel. Samuel smiled at him but there was no warmth in that smile. "That wasn't so hard, was it. Allow me to introduce myself. You can call me Uncle Pete. Your father decided to let me out so you could see what anger was all about. So you have been feeling neglected and decided to act out and bully someone because it made you feel good. I know someone like that and I hated him. So much so I almost killed him one night. I hated him and the whole world for the hurt he inflicted on us as we were growing up. That hatred and anger built up inside me and it chose many instances to erupt." Pete turned toward Jack. "I'm the one who raped Marty Saybrook. The thing is Jack, I felt good about it. That's the monster I've become. Each time the need for revenge boiled up inside your father became a chance for me to come out and take it. Your father keeps tight control of me because he doesn't understand himself yet. He thinks I have no control, but I'm very selective who deserves my wrath. You're fortunate Jack, we love you, myself included, as much as I can love. You're our own flesh and blood. So he'll never lift a hand to you. Believe me, I think you should be taken out and horsewhipped, but you see even if I think you deserve it, I would never do it. Let me show you something. You might want to move away. I don't want you to think I'm going to harm you, I just need to take off my shirt."

Jack backed up fascinated, and a little scared. He watched Pete remove his shirt and then Pete turned so that his back was lit by the sunlight coming in the window. His back was covered with scars. They were ragged and ugly. Jack had seen a picture of slaves with similar scars in his history books, but he had never seen an actual person have any.

"How??" Jack asked shakily.

"My adoptive father gave me those. He got a perverse thrill out of hurting your father when he was your age. Todd and I ran wild the year after raping Marty. He was filled with rage toward Marty and her friends and it was glorious for a while but then Todd began to feel remorse for his deeds. The accidental death of a man called Suede Pruitt opened both our eyes. Even I realized I hated and wanted to hurt but I'm not a killer. The weight of his death was unbearable because I caused it. That loss of control is why I'm confined most of the time. Todd is afraid the next time won't be an accident." Pete was so nonchalant about his part in the death of another man. Jack began to feel really uncomfortable. How could his dad be so cold about killing someone else? He said he carried the weight of that death but it didn't sound like it bothered him at all. "I'm curious about something. Tell me young Jack how does it feel to find out you've killed someone. You can be honest, you can tell me that you actually are enjoying this. That you got a thrill knowing you hurt this Gigi. I won't tell your mom. Just how much like my adoptive father and your degenerate grandfather are you?"

Jack backed farther away. Why was the guy saying that? "No you don't understand, I didn't mean to hurt her. I never meant for this to happen, I was just so mad at Shane. I couldn't believe it when he dropped a weight on my toe. I went a little crazy. All I wanted to do was get back at him for making me look like a fool in front of my friends."

"Hey kid, I understand revenge. but it has consequences especially when plans go wrong. Your father felt that way and look at what happened to him. He wears scars across his face as a constant reminder of how things get out of hand. I hear a lot of excuses coming out of your mouth kid, but it sounds to me like you expect us to forgive you because you didn't mean to do it. It doesn't work that way. You see unless you realize the extent of the harm you've caused all you're ever going to do is keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Believe me, I know. So kid, be honest with yourself, do you or don't you care that you killed Shane's mom." Pete stood there impassively waiting for an answer. He looked at Jack's face and saw the indecision and then he saw what he was looking for. But he needed to push Jack to his limit. " Come on Jack just tell me, You're happy aren't you, no more crybaby Wheezy. Now he'll probably go away because his mom's dead and you won't have him around anymore to get on your nerves. Isn't that right Jack, admit you're glad that Wheezy 's mom died, admit it, Jack."

"Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry I didn't want it to happen, I'm sorry please stop saying I wanted it, It's not true. Please stop saying that." Jack collapsed in a heap on the floor crying.

Pete stood impassively over him. Deep inside he felt like that little boy of fourteen who finally fought back against his father. He turned inward.

"Have I earned your trust now Todd.'

"Yes Pete, Thank you. The door will remain unlocked. I think I'm going to be needing your services coming up. Thanks for rejoining the family, and thank you again for helping my son really understand what has happened. He needed to face someone like you to see what he's become. Now maybe he'll understand what he must do to make things better for himself and Shane.  Hopefully, he'll let me help."

Todd looked down at his son and sat down next to him on the floor. He gathered him into his arms and let him cry. When Jack was all cried out, Todd let him go and just sat there as Jack composed himself. Jack looked into the eyes of the man sitting next to him and felt something strange come over him. He reached for the face and said in a very childlike voice. "Dad?" Todd's heart felt like it was bursting. Jack had finally recognized him.

They sat there looking at one another for a moment. Jack actually felt a little shy. He didn't know what to say to his Dad. He found it a little strange to be thinking of Samuel that way but it felt right. He realized too that Pete was no longer there. The man sitting next to him, his dad, only had love shining out of his eyes. He wasn't scary at all. Jack couldn't help himself he had to ask. "Where did he go? Is he going to come back?"

Todd knew Jack was asking about Pete. So he answered truthfully. "He's around and yes he might come back. But you do know he'll never hurt you, don't you? Pete is a part of me I've been scared to show people because of what he is capable of, but I needed you to see what you could become if you failed to realize what you've done. I'll be honest with you Jack, Pete scares me too. When he offered to help I couldn't believe it, I thought he might be using the excuse to talk to you as a means of getting loose. He surprised me today. I realized I've misunderstood him. He's angry but not homicidal. I've always felt he was a demon I had to control because of the things I've done when Pete is in control. He's relentless and cruel but it wasn't until today that I recognized he's just that part of me that pushes emotions like pity and forgiveness and uncertainty aside and just gets the job done, no matter the job. Unfortunately, sometimes what he considers just a job is, in fact, something horrific like the raping of Marty. I let that happen, just like I let him fight Suede Pruitt and as a result, I now have to live with the fact that a man died because of me. I killed a man. It's not something I ever wanted you to live with but now you have to face the fact too. Jack, you killed someone. It was unintentional, but you put the circumstances in play and as a result of your actions, Shane no longer has a mother." Todd paused watching his son, he saw Jack's face fall and knew he was close to tears again.

"I don't know what to do. I'm scared, what they will do to me. I can't tell Shane I'm sorry, he'll never believe me. He hates my guts and now I...I... God...I killed his mom." his voice cracked as the enormity of what happened hit him. Jack looked at his dad, tears streaming from his eyes. "What happens now?"

Todd shook his head, he was hurting for his son because now they had a long road ahead of them. The fact that Jack recognized what he had done was a step in the right direction but he was still in the path of some heavy-duty charges and the possibility of prison time. "For now we wait. This is serious Jack. If I know Tea she'll be doing everything in her power to keep you out of jail, but you need to understand that she might not succeed. In the past I would have bribed anyone who would take it, to get you off, but I'm not going to do that. It didn't help me. It just made me think I was above the law. I lost out on eight years of your life because someone wanted me out of the picture here. As a result, I wasn't here to guide you away from destructive behavior and now we're here. I'm fighting a great deal of rage toward the man who did this and there are times I just want to kill him. The thing is, I want the life I have right now more than revenge. I just got your Mom back, we want to have a life together. I've chosen to work with the police for the first time in my life. I can't go behind the law's back to save you. I can offer you my love and support through everything coming up. And I'm going to trust that you might get out of this with little to no time in prison." Todd ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't believe himself and his actions at the moment. Who are you kidding, you want to fight this with all the money at your disposal. He pushed the thought away because he knew that kind of action wouldn't really help his son. Todd rose from the floor and Jack did also. They made their way back over to the couch and sat down again.

"But I don't want to go to prison. I'm just a kid." the fear in Jack's voice was palpable.

"Believe me, I don't want you to go there either. I've been to prison and it's not pretty, it's ugly and violent and you would be eaten alive there. It almost destroyed me, but in the end, I learned from it. I don't believe the courts would send you to someplace like Statesville because of your age. That doesn't mean they would let you off scot-free either. We have to be ready for the possibility of a minimum-security facility for underage offenders.  Jack, I'm not telling you this to scare you. I want you to know the worst that could happen, to prepare you. This is why your mom and I were trying so hard to get you to see the path you were on. But in your stubbornness you ignored us. Now we sit here looking at consequences that I swore would never happen to my son. I owe you an apology. I've made mistakes with you from the get-go. Now I'm seeing my worst nightmare coming to fruition. When you were just a little guy, I used lies and deceptions to try and get you and your mom and sister back, but inevitably those lies came back and blew up in my face and I lost you all. Before I could make it up to your mother I was kidnapped and the rest is history. All I can do at this moment is be here if you want me. What do you say, Jack, do you want me to be with you through this?"

Jack looked at his dad and knew he needed him. His other Dad was going to be trying to get him off and he hoped Tea would succeed. If something bad happened, he could count on the guy sitting next to him to be there the whole time no matter what. He believed it because he saw it in Samuel's eyes. His dad cared that much for him. Jack once again felt tears in his eyes. This guy really loved him. It had been a long time since he had felt like he mattered to someone. In the last year, he had felt more and more isolated from his family as they had all been wrapped up in their own dramas. None of them had seemed to notice him and he had felt himself becoming invisible unless they thought he was coming down too hard on Sam or getting into trouble. He had just wanted to be noticed and now he had their attention but was it too late. Samuel made it seem like it wasn't, his dad was looking at him and really seeing him but Samuel wasn't writing him off. "You'll stay no matter what?" His dad nodded. "Please don't go away, I do want you here. I'm really scared." Jack begged.

Todd drew him into a hug. Giving his son whatever comfort he could. He was scared too. The days ahead were going to be difficult for everyone. Todd wasn't really the praying sort, but he found himself asking God for any help he could give.

Todd felt Jack pull back and immediately released him. Jack was looking embarrassed so Todd decided to change subjects for a little bit. "Jack, I need to ask you a question and it has nothing to do with all of this. Tea said you saw your Dad yesterday, aside from his displeasure at yesterdays events, how did he seem to you."

"I don't know, he was just Dad. He kept trying to find out what happened to Shane's mother and boy was he mad. I thought you would be mad like my dad. That night you came to the house, you got really angry. Was that Pete?" Jack asked.

Todd ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat. " No Jack, that was me. Pete's anger is cold and deadly while I'm afraid I just fly off the handle sometimes. I'm sorry my frustration got the better of me that night. I'm more volatile than Pete and he's more deadly. If you should encounter him again just don't rile him up. He proved to me today that he wouldn't hurt you but that doesn't mean you couldn't get hurt just because you got too close to whatever he might be up too. Pete's a bit of a loose cannon. So now you've met Pete and Samuel, do you still think I'm a wimp. I remember you weren't too impressed with Samuel because he paints. Whether you realize it or not, Samuel is one of my stronger alters. He's the reason I'm sitting here today. Samuel took care of me and all the rest of the alters for eight years. You have no idea the strengths he has. Pete is strong but that's because Pete needed to be after my father abused me. Don't think for a minute that any of my alters are weak because they are parts of a whole. All of my alters are like tempered steel because together we've been through so much. Some people think I split because of my father and that might have been true in the beginning but you see I found out about my alters and I've used them throughout my life to help weather events that would kill an ordinary man. I'm stronger because of my alters. They are like brothers to me and you, you're sister, Sam and Hope are like nieces and nephews to them. When you're with me you get the advantage of calling on them for advice and aid and if I'm unable to respond they will. I know it sounds a little crazy doesn't it but you met Pete today. You were scared of him but did you learn anything from him." Todd paused and waited for Jack's answer.

"I didn't know what to expect but meeting Pete was scary. He's totally different from you or Samuel. He's cold and mean, and he kept throwing Shane and his mother in my face. He kept saying I got pleasure out of hurting Shane's mother. You've got to believe me. I'm sick inside I feel like I've eaten an alien and it's churning up my insides." Jack suddenly turn three shades of green and ran to the kitchen.

Todd heard him throwing up in the sink as the truth finally hit home. Todd walked over and grabbed a towel off the bar and wet it down with cold water then he joined Jack at the sink and turned on the running water and put the towel on his neck. Jack suffered through the dry heaves and began sobbing once more. He leaned his forehead on his arms and cried because of what he had done and because he was scared of what was going to happen next. Todd heard the front door open as Blair and the girls arrive back home.

Blair and Starr walked in and saw the scene in front of them. Blair saw her son crying and said a little prayer of thanks. Somehow Todd had gotten through to Jack. She walked up to her son and touched his shoulder and he turned to her, hugging her and crying on her shoulder "Mom I'm ..sorry.. help me...Mom." Blair's eyes filled with tears as she heard the anguish in her son's voice. "I'm here Jack, we're all here and we'll get through this together."