Who's the Real Todd?, Ch. 16

          Todd stole another glance at Blair. He was still wrapping his head around her last two statements. He was wondering if he really had heard it right. She had just told him she would be his wife. It had come out of left field but when she had said it, his heart had skipped a beat. He had been going along trying to avoid asking her for any commitment because he had been afraid she would back away. Todd figured that as long as she was willing to be with him, it was enough. What really baffled him was the timing. Why had she declared it today?  Was she afraid he was losing it and she was just trying to give him something to cling to or had she really meant it? "Blair I need to ask you a question."

"What is it?" Blair asks

"Did you mean it? What you said a few minutes ago?" asked Todd

"I meant everything I said, Todd. I believe you. If you say there was more to your dream, that you were actually having a memory, of course I believe you. I know after all this time that your memories are returning and we need everything we can get to trap Hesser and his partner." replied Blair.

Todd was silent, looking intently at her. "That's good but I meant the other thing."

"The other thing, what other thing, Todd?" asked Blair. She knew where he was going but now that she had said it she needed to know if she hadn't just made a huge blunder. He wanted to talk, but did he want to shoot it down or was he on the same page as her. When she had told him he could have her, Todd had seemed to want it, but he hadn't said a thing since. Now he wanted to know if she meant it. She could answer him and put herself on the edge of that cliff without a safety net or she could let him take the next step.

"Come on you know what other thing, the thing where you said you'd be my wife," Todd replied testily.

"No, I don't think that is what I said," answered Blair.

Todd's heart sank, he had been afraid of that. It had been that stupid nightmare. He had still been under the influence of the dream thinking of her as his wife. He had misinterpreted her comment.

Blair saw his face and knew then that he had been hoping for a yes to that statement. She smiled and said, "What I believe I said was, if you want your wife back, I was here for the taking. But so far no one is doing any taking."

"Damn it, Blair, you drive me crazy! Will you marry me?" The words were out before he could stop them. He looked at her and waited. She had her question, would she give him the answer he needed.

Blair wasn't sure what she had been hoping for but when he had utter those words, she knew she wasn't going to keep him in suspense. He was the man she loved more than anything and they had already lost entirely too much time. "Yes Todd, I'll marry you."

Todd was stunned and exhilarated, then he came crashing down to earth, what was he thinking. He couldn't marry her, Carlo would know something was up then. "Damn!"

Blair looked at Todd.  That hadn't sounded like a happy Damn, that had sounded like he was disgusted about something. "What's the matter? I thought you wanted me to say yes?"

Todd heard the hurt in her voice. She hadn't understood his exclamation. "No, you have it all wrong. I'm glad you said yes, but I realized I can't marry you. I'm not even me right now and if you marry me I'm putting you right in Carlo's sights. The last thing I want is for my nightmare to come true. Blair, I think that would be the final nail in my coffin. I won't lose you and if that means we keep this relationship just as it is then I'll be satisfied. It's too dangerous to consider marriage right now."

She heard his disappointment and felt it as much as he did. Then she realized they could still go through with it. "Todd, we could make it legal if I married Samuel. All of Samuel's papers are legit and for all intents and purposes, you are legally Samuel. All we need to do is plan a wedding for Blair Cramer and Samuel Toddman. In fact, if Carlo thinks your mind is on the upcoming nuptials he won't suspect we're working for his downfall and capture." She looked at him hopefully.

"But you wouldn't be Mrs. Todd Manning. I'd need to make sure Samuel wouldn't mind. It's his name you would be taking but all the privileges would be mine." Todd said deep in thought.

Blair couldn't believe it, Todd was concerned for Samuel's feelings in the matter.   Every time he did that, talked about them as if they were real people, she would get a lump in her throat. They were so real to him, they were his family. He didn't want to hurt them any more than he would hurt Vicki. She couldn't stop herself she went over to him and hugged him and said, "By all means make sure Samuel is ok with it, I don't want to hurt him either."

Todd was glad she understood. He had such a connection to his alters. They were like brothers, and Samuel had had eight long years living a life of his own. When Todd had returned, Samuel had been forced to take a back seat. Todd still didn't understand why Samuel had been willing to let go, Todd sure couldn't. The feelings that drove Todd kept him dominant, so his alters for the most part, accepted their place in his life. The one exception was Pete. It still remained a battle with Pete. Especially when someone was trying to kill him. Pete had been right there ready to come out if he had needed to, to fight the assailants. Luckily saner heads had prevailed and Pete had been subdued.

Todd reached up and kissed Blair and said. "Thank you. You're right, if you become Mrs. Samuel Toddman, then Carlo will think Todd Manning is nowhere around. We need to keep him in the dark. Look, I'm going to get up and see if my strength holds up. I'll try and take a walk to Kelly's room. You need to take that sketch down to Manning's room but don't let anyone other than Tea and Manning see it. If you are right, and the doctor working on Manning is in cahoots with Carlo's bunch, then we can't let them know we've got another connection. Blair, be careful." she gave him one more kiss and grabbing the sketch, she left.

He climbed out of bed and found his legs working a lot better than the night before. He found his clothes and put them on. He made his way out to the nurses' station and asked where Kelly Cramer's room was. The nurse asked him if he wanted a ride there and he passed on the wheelchair and told her he needed to start moving again. Todd took his time it wasn't quite as tiring and he knew he was on the mend. He reached Kelly's room and noticed she was alone, he didn't want to run into Dorian. He knocked. "You'll do anything for a story, Kelly. I do think you need to work on your avoidance skills though. Although having been in Marty's line of fire I know how single-minded she can be." he grinned and leaned against the doorway "You doing okay Kelly." he asked seriously.

Kelly was all set to make a snarky remark after Todd's first words and then he had changed in front of her and gotten serious. She just stared up at him trying to figure out who had come into her room. At first, there had been no doubt that Todd had entered but now she wasn't sure. She had never heard concern for anyone but Blair and the kids come out of Todd. "I'm going to be alright the doctors tell me, and forgive me for staring, I'm trying to figure out who I'm talking too."

"It's me Kelly, but as far as everyone here is concerned I'm Samuel. So you're doing alright then. I'm glad to hear it. You know that Blair is going to run the paper in your absence. This is big news now. I'm having a hard time picturing Marty going so far off the deep end." he said

It was weird looking at him and listening to him talk. She had gotten so used to Walker but it was like it was yesterday when Todd brought Cassie and her back to Llanview so he could remarry Blair. The man in front of her just seemed right. The only way she could describe it was Totally Toddlike. At the same time, there was now a difference. Samuel had definitely influenced this new Todd. He was more grounded not so off the wall. She noticed he looked a little pale and remembered Blair saying he had been pretty sick. " Todd sit down before you fall down."

Todd pushed himself away from the door and moved to a chair by Kelly's bed. Try as he might to appear fine he couldn't stop the way his legs gave out and he landed in the chair a little abruptly. "Well that was real graceful wasn't it." he laughed. "I m sorry, I guess the legs had enough. Did Blair tell you what has happened since your stabbing?" Kelly nodded.

Todd continued speaking. "Good, then you understand why I'm here. With the attempts on my life, we must be more careful about how we go about investigating the Kipling Facility. You were injured because of Marty, but you're now caught in the middle of my fight with Hesser. We're going to back off the investigation for a short time. I just managed to convince Hesser's people I'm Samuel, so, for now, Samuel will fall back to just being the new shareholder with policy rights. Manning is on the mend too, but I think that's not going to last. I think whatever they did to us is unraveling. I'm experiencing memories and nightmares from the three months between my incarceration in the tomb and my arrival at Philadelphia General. Blair also informs me that Manning is starting to show personality changes and is experiencing severe headaches. I think both our problems are rooted in the same place. Unfortunately, with Hesser on the loose and the possibility that Hesser and his partner have some people working here, we'll drop the story for now and put our concentration onto Marty's story. So do you understand what I'm telling you?" asked Todd.

She understood but she didn't like it. Yes, Marty was big news but clandestine government projects involving The Sun's Publisher and his Double was the kind of story reporters dream of getting a piece of. "Ok?... Do I call you Samuel or Todd?"

Todd looked at her and said. "The name is Samuel. In fact, you'll probably be seeing Samuel around too. I need to give my nervous system a break and the mental stress I'm under is taking quite a bit out of me. Just my temperament I guess, but I find I can actually rest when Samuel is in charge. Just giving you a heads up."

"Fine Samuel. Are you kidding! You seriously expect me to believe that you're going to back off. That's not the Todd Manning I remember. I know you're hurt and I know you're worried where all this is going but I can't believe you would back down, not when you're this close. Come on Todd, what is this really about?" asked Kelly.

Todd looked at Kelly and realized that the years had changed her too. She's had always been quick to pick up on his plans where Blair had been concerned. It appeared now she had learned to read people even better than before. "Alright, I don't want Blair and Starr or you for that matter to get hurt because I can't let this thing with Hesser go. You were safe before I came back into the picture. Now because this plan of Hesser's is unraveling, I've put you all in the line of fire. Kelly, I won't jeopardize my chance at happiness with Blair because of this." he said.

"You're telling me that you're willing to back down because it might get Blair hurt. My God you have changed." Kelly took a good look at Todd and realized he meant everything he had just said. He was truly scared for Blair and not just Blair but Starr and herself too. It was the first time since she had known him that she believed him. Something had happened in the last few days, that had shaken him to his core. "What happened Todd? What made this change in you?" She knew he might not answer but she couldn't keep herself from asking.

Todd got up shakily taking a moment to let his legs support him. He looked at her grimly and said."I saw Blair lying in my arms dead. That's not going to happen if I have anything to say about it." He turned and exited before she had a chance to reply. As Todd headed around the corner toward his room he heard Kelly yell something but he had trouble making it out. His hearing or the lack thereof had flared up because of the poison. It hadn't been good since the pipe incident with Luna and the last couple of days it had just gotten worse.

Kelly was shocked and tried to get Todd back but he obviously hadn't heard her. She was trying to wrap her mind around what she had heard. He said he had seen Blair's dead body and had sounded like he literally had seen it. Even if he had been imagining it, it obviously had frightened him enough to make the decision to back off. She felt a chill go down her back. He was serious about the danger. Kelly knew then how much he cared for Blair. In the past, Todd had always gone through with some cockamamie schemes to win Blair back and he had always hurt her, this time he was taking her out of the line of fire. He was going to give up this plan if he had to, to keep Blair safe.

Kelly reached for her phone and made a call to the Sun. She informed her second in command that her cousin Blair was going to be in charge until she was back on her feet. Blair had the backing of both Mr. Toddman and Mr. Manning. Then she called her investigator and heard everything he had gotten on the Kipling Facility, she told him to send her what he had so far and to back off until further notice. She insisted he played it safe and told him of the recent attempts on Mr. Toddman's life.  He wasn't happy, it seemed he had managed to get a job at the facility and what he was finding inside was going to be massive. After talking to him she realized he was onto something good so she told him to be careful and to keep in touch. It was going to be dangerous for all involved if he was found out.

Now she had a quandary on her hands, Todd had wanted her to back off because they were trying to keep Hesser in the dark that they were investigating. She was going to have to tell him the current info and let him know that she had given the reporter the go-ahead to keep investigating. She knew Todd was going to be furious because she was going against his wishes, but if it helped Bo tie up all the loose ends than it would be worth Todd's anger. She wouldn't tell him until he was stronger because he would probably try and do something stupid again like forcing the issue at the institute, in the hopes of bringing everything to a close to protect everyone.

Todd walked out of Kelly's room lost in thought. There had been a couple of times in his relationship with Blair when she had been injured and both of those times had resulted in the deaths of babies. The first one had been his baby boy and the second had been Patrick's. Both of those times Blair had survived and gone on with her life. Yet as unreal as he knew the scene to be, he couldn't get the image of Blair lying in his arms bleeding, out of his mind. He had never been one to believe in premonitions or omens but he wished the image would go away. The only thing he was certain of was the fact that he would not give Carlo a chance to hurt her and that went for Carlo's mysterious partner too.

Todd walked up to the nurses' desk and asked if his discharge papers were ready yet. He needed to get out of the hospital and back to the penthouse. He just had this feeling of dread hanging over him and the events that had recently taken place in the hospital added to it. She told him the doctor had still not sent them so he headed back to his room frustrated. Only one good thing had come out this morning. Blair had agreed to marry him but it would have to be as Mrs. Samuel Toddman. Todd got back to his room and collapsed on the bed feeling drained. He lay there and decided he might as well have that chat with Samuel since it didn't look like he was going to be sprung any time soon.

Relaxing against his pillow, Todd found himself in the corridor again. He headed to Samuel's room and knocked/ then entered. Samuel was in his loft painting and Todd found himself staring at the ‘Doctor’.  "God Samuel why can't we escape him." he straddled a chair and watched as Samuel put the finishing touches on the portrait. The added color just made the memory that much clearer. "I thought I was incapacitated the entire time until last night. Now I know I was drifting in and out for a while. Why didn't you tell me?" Todd turned and stared at Samuel who looked back and said. "I couldn't. What took place those three months damaged me too. In the end, what they did to us forced you to totally withdraw and left me with amnesia. I've been trying to piece together what transpired during those months."

"At first you had withdrawn from the trauma of the tomb, and I was struggling to stay alive. After losing consciousness in the emergency room my next waking thoughts found us in a strange room. I was still in considerable pain and couldn't move because of all the bandages.

I remember someone coming in and taking me someplace but I passed out again because of the pain caused by the movement of the gurney on a very irregular floor. When I came to again he" Samuel nodded at the portrait " was staring down at me but I couldn't understand what he was saying and then I felt this jolt run through me. I thought every broken bone in my body was tearing apart and suddenly you pushed me aside and took over. I was helpless to stop you and I watched from a distance as you absorbed the pain, then we passed out again. I awoke in agony again, and again they took me for a ride but this time you weren't there and I held on as long as I could until I passed out. Things began getting fuzzier and fuzzier and I couldn't remember where I was or why I was there. The only thing I was holding onto was my name. Each time they took us I felt like they were taking something important from us but didn't remember what. I forgot you and just found myself drifting sometimes I was feeling pain and other times I seemed separated as if protected from it. Now I recall one last session. I remember starting to feel the pain and then suddenly it was gone and I felt secure away from it. I was struggling to regain full consciousness and I overheard two men talking. I remember the man I couldn't see telling the Doctor that they would have to work with what they had, he instructed the Doctor to do what was necessary to make sure I remembered nothing. Then there was this incredible pain and nothing until I woke at Philadelphia General. The rest you know. All I knew when I awoke was my name and we have you to thank for that. Todd. you built such a wall to protect us and your other secret that you managed to save yourself unknowingly." Samuel looked over at Todd and smiled. "You know we're a pretty efficient team. As long as you remain in charge we're pretty hard to outmaneuver and that is going to be Carlo and the Doctor's undoing."

Todd looked at Samuel and grinned. "I guess I am something unique, thank you for filling me in on your memories. I'm beginning to remember some of that myself. I'm sure, now that I've heard what you remember, I'll be able to fill in my memories soon. I want to know who that Doctor is and I have a feeling Manning knows him. Now, do you think we could move someplace else because he's giving me the creeps." Todd got up and moved into Samuel's sitting room and sat surrounded by memories of Tea, Vicki, and Blair. He looked over at Samuel, "You heard the conversation this morning. Right? Are you okay with it? I mean, I know you're me and visa versa but you're more than just a part of me. Samuel, you lived a much longer life on your own than all my other alters combined. In essence, you had your own life and I took it away from you when I came back. If you were my real twin this wouldn't be a problem but we share the same body. I still can't figure out why you let me have my life back. My own niece is struggling to get free from one of her alters. And from what I understand Jessica is losing the battle to Tess. You could have fought me. When I first awoke and I couldn't get out, it would have been easy for you to remain in charge. Instead, you did everything you could to give me back my life knowing it would mean you would only have a half-life again. Why did you do it?"

"That's really quite simple Todd. What you call a life, I call existence. I didn't really live, not until I began having your memories and then when I met you, I also had a purpose. Suddenly I had a reason to live and it was to help you. All of my existence I felt like a shadow. Part of that was because I had no memories " Samuel paused and looked around at his paintings. "I had these and I didn't even know they were memories. In reality, as I painted I was reliving your life but it always felt like it wasn't mine to live. In fact, the most fun I had was investigating for you and getting to know Blair and Starr and our darling Princess Shorty. But I don't mind that I'm not in their lives daily. I consider myself to be like an Uncle to Starr and great uncle to Hope and I would be delighted if you married Blair using my name for the time being. You gave me my name and my credentials. I wouldn't be here even now if not for you. That afternoon when I walked away thinking my job was done, you refused to let go. We were all so certain that once you found out what made us you would be glad to see us go. You chose to keep us and all the baggage that goes with us. You know to some it makes you seem unstable, but I think you relish that thought a little bit, it's what makes you, you.  Besides, you're willing to share especially with me and I'm grateful because it's like I get to visit with family every time I'm needed. When it comes to Blair, I love her like a sister, Todd. She loves you, not me. I don't think you should hold off getting married because of a name. You love each other, the rest we'll straighten out later." Samuel had no sooner said that, when Todd felt two lips softly caress his and he opened his eyes to Blair looking down at him. He smiled and said, "Samuel gives his blessing."