Who's the Real Todd?, Ch. 7

Blair watched him leave and knew something was off.   She turned to Jack and told him to go back to his room, then she hurried to try and stop Todd before he left. As she ran down the driveway her heart was in her throat. She should have stopped him from leaving, his eyes at that last moment before he left, filled her with fear.  Suddenly she saw him lying on the ground.  God! She rushed to him and laid him flat. Feeling his pulse, a small sigh escaped, it wasn’t his heart. "Todd, come back," she whispered but he didn’t respond. Blair heard footsteps behind her and saw that Jack has disobeyed and followed her out. " Jack, go call 911. I can't rouse him."

"Mom, what's the matter? Is he dead?"

"No, he's not dead, but do what I told you, go call for help." She tried once again to get Todd to come around. Blair recalled the first session with Ray and it hit her. Todd had retreated. The day has been too much, too quickly. "Todd you don't need to hide, I don't know what I did but please hear me. If I hurt you, I never meant to, we can get through this. Jack and Dani will come around.  Please don't leave again." she cradled his head in her lap and bent to kiss him gently on the lips. Still no response. The ambulance turned into the driveway and Blair made room for the EMTs. "Jack, I'm going with him to the hospital. I want you to let Addie know what has happened and give your sister a call. Please do this for me and stay put tonight." At that, she grabbed Todd's keys and followed the ambulance.

Todd laid curled on the bed, his eyes unfocused. Samuel looked at Ms.Perkins. "What do we do?"

"There's not much we can do? This is like the last time. It took us a number of days to break through his psyche enough to come forward back then. My guess, we're in for another one of those periods. We can hope that Blair gets through to him and he comes around on his own. My poor Todd, he has so little faith in himself he doesn't realize that his flaws are as much a part of him as his strengths. They are his building blocks, but he only sees them as shameful. Samuel even though he has known you the shortest amount of time I believe he has complete trust in you. I think between you and Blair we might be able to wake him. So you'll need to give him your strength here while Blair gives him her love." replied Ms. Perkins.

Samuel looked down at the man he met only a short time ago but now loved like a brother. Somehow just like Todd's memories had kept him going all those years, it was his turn to keep Todd going. Samuel pulled up a chair and started talking about Starr and Hope and Sir Dragon, keeping the stories going and hoping that some of them were getting through.

Outside of Manning's room, Shaun watched as they wheeled in Samuel. Blair had eyes only for Samuel as she walked passed him.  As Samuel was put into a room, Shaun turned and entered Mr. Manning's room. "Tea, I think you should know they just brought in Samuel on a gurney. It looks serious."

Tea looked at Dani. "You stay here and I'll go see what's going on."

Dani took up her dad's hand and looked at him, her mind went back to earlier in the day when Samuel had been there. The man in front of her wasn't Todd Manning, but she had grown to love him, and now the man who was her real father had just been brought into the hospital. She hadn't even given Samuel much of a chance that afternoon. Now it might be too late. Dani recalled Shaun saying that Samuel looked pretty upset when he left. She felt funny, she knew he was her dad but she didn't know him. She didn't know what she could do to help at the moment. Hopefully, her Mom would find out something. "Dad, I wish you would wake up. I don't know what to do. Mom just introduced me to a man she says is my real father, which means you're not. All he wants is a chance to get to know me. Mom says she's not going to leave you and neither will I, but I owe him a chance to get to know me. I mean, I let you get to know me. Still, I wish you would wake and tell me what I should do." Dani gasped as her dad's fingers suddenly gripped hers. "Dad, can you hear me?" her hand was squeezed. "Dad, you hang in there. I'm going to get Shaun" she put her father's hand down.

Tea moved out into the hall and followed the direction Shaun had pointed. She saw Blair standing outside a room and moved to join her. "What happened? Shaun said Todd was brought in by ambulance. Is it his heart?"

Blair looked at Tea and shook her head, " It's not his heart, but he's unresponsive. It's not a coma. Tea, I think he's catatonic again. The doctors are examining him and I have a call out to Ray."

"But he seemed fine this afternoon, what could have driven him into that state again. I know Shaun said he looked the worse for wear when he left here, but I thought he was holding up pretty well given the circumstances."  Tea looked into the room where they were working on Todd. It was so reminiscent of the first time it occurred when he collapsed in the courtroom. Except for this time, his eyes were closed. He appeared to be sleeping, but they couldn't wake him. "I know Starr left with him. Do you know where he's been today?"

Blair nodded. "He came over to see Jack and we informed Jack that Todd was his real father, but it was a rough evening. Things became worse when we began discussing the bullying that Jack has been doing to Shane. Todd and Jack clashed and nothing Todd said seemed to hit home to Jack and I think Todd began seeing himself in Jack and it terrified him. When he got up to leave I knew he was upset, but it wasn't until the last moment that I realized just how upset he truly was. By the time I got down the driveway to his car, it was too late. Todd was on the ground. I thought, at first, it was his heart but that was beating fine and I couldn't get him to respond, and then I knew, Tea, it was '98 all over again. There was just something in his eyes when he left. He was broken, Tea and he gave up. I think he's tired of fighting. He told me his encounter with Dani didn't go well and then everything with Jack. He's been on the edge so many times in the last couple of weeks I think today was the final straw." Blair walked to the doorway. "I finally got him back and now he's lost again.  I haven't been able to get any of the alters to respond, but that isn't unusual since none of them showed up the last time until he started coming out of this state."

At that moment, Dani came flying around the corner. "Mom, Dad's waking up."

Blair and Tea looked at each other.  "Go Tea, you should be there when he wakes, I'll be here for Todd." Tea gave her a hug and she and Dani headed back to their Todd. Blair watched them leave and then the doctor who had been working on Todd came out to talk to her. "All his vitals are good but he's still unresponsive to any stimuli. I understand his therapist is on his way in. I'll be able to tell you more when his therapist and I have had a chance to talk. I suggest you continue to talk to him, catatonic states are unusual, we don't know how much is actually getting through to the patient.

She thanked the doctor and ask to be informed when Ray arrived. She moved alongside Todd as the nurse left them alone. "Damn it, Todd, haven't you been in hospitals enough lately. Why are you quitting now? You didn't quit when you found out what a bastard your adopted father Peter was. You can't quit just because you lost some ground today with your children." Blair reached out and brushed the hair off his face. "I heard what you told me at the house but you need to know I don't blame you for how Jack turned out. I'm sorry I ever said that to you all those years ago. It was wrong of me to lay that guilt trip on you. You love your kids too much to ever hurt them, even unintentionally. Jack's upbringing falls on Walker's and my shoulders. We raised Jack and I know you think you're responsible because Walker was programmed to be you but he still lived his life his way and his actions are his actions, not yours. Todd, please come back to me. There is still so much here for you. I need you." Blair picked up Todd's hand but got no response. "Todd, listen if you can hear me. Dani just came and said Walker is waking up. If you don't come back Walker wins and so does Carlo." She was hoping for some sign at the mention of Carlo but all she got was stillness. Hearing footsteps behind her she turned to find Ray entering. "Ray I can't bring him back this time.  Do you know of anything that we can do?"

"At the moment, you're doing it, Blair. This is one of those times when even I feel useless. If he's withdrawn so deep it generally means he’s been pushed to his limit. I read about his '98 bout with this and what occurred following his wake-up. That was when his alters first appeared to all of you. Have you tried to get any of them to respond." Ray asked.

Blair shook her head, "It didn't work, I think his subconscious is so deep they can't surface either."

Ray looked at his friend trying to figure out what had driven Todd so deep. He had been expecting something like this to happen for some time. Todd had barely escaped an episode like this that first session in Cherryvale and the reason for that had been his trauma in the tomb. This had its origins somewhere else. "Blair you've been with him since his last session. How has he been holding up?"

"He was doing fine this morning to start with. In fact, he was in good spirits when we went to The Sun but things began to go downhill at the office. This constant need to prove himself to people is wearing on him. He disappeared and Samuel returned this morning because my cousin Kelly showed such skepticism about his identity. When Samuel and I returned to the penthouse he emerged but he was so despondent. Then Kelly showed up at the penthouse and his mood shifted for the better. I thought he was fine when I left him. Then this afternoon he came to my house and it was obvious his spirits had taken another nosedive. He found out in the worst way possible that he has another daughter, and when he attempted to make contact, he encountered more skepticism and rejection. He kept trying to act like he was alright with the fact that she didn't want him around. In my concern for our son and the stuff Jack's been up to, I didn't pressure him for details about Dani, instead, I hit him even harder with the news about our son. Todd seemed to take it in stride and the rest of the evening just got messier as we informed Jack that Todd was his real father. As you can guess by now, that revelation went over like a lead balloon. Jack's behavior pushed some buttons in Todd and about an hour ago Todd walked out of my house. I found him like this minutes after he left. He blamed himself for Jack. I saw how torn up he was and I felt so sorry for him. I'm afraid he might have seen that in my face because he got such a look on his face when he walked away from me. Ray, could I have been the one thing that pushed him too far?"

" I can't honestly say until we can get him back and he and I have a chance to talk. I don't think you should blame yourself for this. You know what he's been through this last month. He's been walking on the edge for a while. I was afraid something like this could happen but was hoping it wouldn't. I do think the rejection from his kids might have been the true cause of this. His psyche has been fragile since he himself was a child. He put a lot on himself when he wanted to give his children the best of everything to compensate for the things he never got. If he feels he failed to do that then it could have very easily sent him plunging. Keep trying to reach him and if you can, see if you can get his son and new daughter to give him some of their attention. I'll discuss the options available medically with his doctor. Because of his heart, Electroconvulsive Therapy is definitely out, so the only thing we can do is try medication. If anyone can get through to him it will be you, Blair. I'm a firm believer that you two do share a bond. I've seen it at work. You'll figure out a way to reach him and we'll get him back, just believe that." at that Ray patted Blair's shoulder and left.

Blair watched Ray leave and turned back to Todd, "Alright Todd where is this great connection we're supposed to have. Ray thinks I should be able to get through to you but so far you haven't given me one sign that you can hear me. You told me that you loved me and that you wanted to make it work. How is this making it work? I need you to help me with Jack, I'm sorry things didn't go the way you would have liked with Jack but you have to stop kicking yourself. You're not to blame for Jack's attitudes. Do you hear me? YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. I don't know what I did that made you leave but it's time to come back now. If you're going to want to get to know your son you have to be here. Walker is waking up and he'll be able to get Jack's attention once again. Are you just going to lie there and let Walker have him without even putting up a fight? That's not the Todd Manning I know. You need to get your butt out here and fight for your place with Jack and that goes for Dani too." she paused and looked for any sign that he might have heard her but he was still unresponsive. "Okay you stay hidden, I can't stay I have to go check on my son and his brother. When you decide to stop pouting I hope you'll come up for air soon. Remember one thing. I love you. Goodbye Todd" She kissed him hoping against hope for some response but when she didn't get it she kissed his forehead and left.

Samuel had been telling stories non-stop to Todd but he hadn't been seeing any change in Todd. It was eerie to look at his brother and host and realize that this time they were all trapped. Then he felt the brush of Blair's lips on his forehead. That had never happened before maybe Blair was getting through to Todd. If Samuel felt her kiss maybe Todd did too. "Ms. Perkins, did you feel that?" he asked

"Did I feel what?" inquired Ms. Perkins.

"Blair's kiss." replied Samuel. "I distinctly felt her lips on my forehead just now."

"I didn't feel anything, but if you did then it's possible that you are the one who's going to be able to get out. Did you notice any change in Todd when you felt her kiss?" asked Ms. Perkins.

"None that I could see, but why did I feel her kiss and you didn't?"

asked Samuel.

"I think you felt the kiss because you and Todd are closer and more merged than the rest of us are, to him. Try once again to get through to him and if you can't, try to get to the surface," said Ms. Perkins.

"Right I'll try to get him to acknowledge me and then I'll try to reach out." said Samuel "Todd," Samuel turned Todd over and tried to lightly slap him awake but Todd was just as unresponsive as ever. “Todd, come on man, you can't really want to stay hidden not after everything we've been through. I felt her kiss, surely you did too. If you won't come back I'm going to try and reach her. If I can surface I'll keep going with your plan but it isn't me Blair wants. So you need to make up your mind if you really want her because if you don't come out, I'll go ahead and take her Todd, I love her too, you know." Todd suddenly stirred shaking his head then he subsided and became still once more. Samuel smiled. He had managed to hit a nerve. He had gotten a brief response. Maybe the best way to get Todd back would be to take his place and force him to fight for Blair. "So you don't want me to have her but you don't want to come forth. Hmmm, I might as well go out and enjoy myself then because you don't want to. I'm going to try and surface Todd, this is my fair warning. Since you don't want out, I'll go out and live a little. I'm sure Blair will love the company and I can get to know Jack even better too, not to mention our daughter Dani." Once again Samuel saw Todd jerk, yep he was getting to him. It was time to try and get out. Maybe with just a little more physical contact with Blair, Samuel could force Todd to react on his love.

Blair walked back into the room, she had alerted Starr, Jack, and Addie to the fact that Walker was waking up and she had informed Starr about her father too. Starr was going to bring Jack and Sam up to the hospital so they could all see Walker. Starr assured her that she would be down to see her dad after visiting with Walker. Blair walked back over to Todd. He hadn't moved and still appeared to be sleeping. "Todd, Starr is on her way but she going to visit your rival Walker first because he appears to be waking up. I'll go see him later but I really want you to wake up. You wanted your life back and this isn't the way to do it if you stay as you are, no one is going to be able to keep a hold of Hesser. Do you really want him to walk away scot-free? Bo can't hold him if you don't testify against him." She looks down at Todd and reaches for his hands taking one into hers and rubbing it gently. "I want to feel these painting my body Todd, remember the wildflowers, that was such a beautiful afternoon after the horrendous morning you had. I want more afternoons like that. Please come back and show me more days like that one." she kisses his fingertips and then gasps as his hand grips hers. Looking up she sees his eyes open "Todd you're back."

"Blair, I'm Samuel and I'm having a hard time staying. He's pretty deep but I think I got a rise out of him a few minutes ago. I told him that since he didn't want you I was going to come and take his place, especially with you. I don't think he liked it. Before I lose all control, you need to give me a kiss.  We need to work together to get him to fight for what he believes is his, and you, my dear, are at the top of his list. What do you say?"

"Samuel, it's so good to see you. I'll do anything to get him to come back and I have no trouble kissing you. I love you too you know. So let's get this show on the road. Oh, Samuel, I'm so glad you came out here. I'll show you how much." Blair leaned over and began kissing Samuel and he returned her kiss. It felt so good that Blair found herself losing her senses and she wasn’t sure if she kissing Todd or Samuel. "God, Samuel don't stop."

Samuel too was feeling the rush the kiss was stirring in him. He already loved Blair and before he knew it, his arms were around her pulling her closer. He might have come out to save Todd’s spot but right then, she wasn’t kissing Todd, she was kissing him.  "Blair I love you as much as he does, if we can't get him back could you accept me," he said as he paused his kiss and looked her in the eyes.

Blair took a breath and looked down into Samuel's eyes "Samuel, I care deeply for you already.  If we can't get him back and you truly want me then I'm all yours." and at that, she captured his lips again. She was just so overwhelmed to have even one of Todd's alters awake and talking. Of all of Todd's Alters, Samuel was the dearest one.

Samuel once more returned her kiss and pulled her down on top of him to get her even closer. Deep inside his mind, Todd begins thrashing around but still didn't awaken. Samuel was feeling stronger and he couldn't decide if that meant Todd was getting closer to reviving or not. For the moment, it would appear that he was once more in charge much like he had been in Paris.

“I think I'm getting stronger Blair, Todd hasn't awakened yet but he's not so deep any longer. We're getting to him. I'm going to go check on him, don't be alarmed.  I need to see if I can get him to respond, while I'm gone you try once more too. But first." Samuel kissed her once more and then drifted off.

Blair climbed off the bed and stood beside Todd once more, her mouth was still tingling from her kiss with Samuel. Todd and Samuel were so much alike it was getting hard to tell them apart. She bent over and whispered in Todd's ear. "Todd, Samuel is very charming.  If you can't find it in you to come home let him stay I could easily fall in love with Samuel." Todd’s head jerked away from her mouth at her words. Blair smiled, Samuel was right, Todd was affected by the closeness she felt for Samuel.

Inside his head, Samuel sat down next to Todd, "Blair is lovely, Todd, and I don't think she deserves to be alone anymore. I promise I'll take care of her for you and I'll guide Jack and get to know Dani in your stead. We'll manage without you so you just go ahead and rest. I've got to go back now. I don't want her worrying any more than she already has." Samuel got up to leave and felt a hand grab him. He looked down and saw Todd's eyes on him. They were very angry eyes. Samuel smiled down at his brother. "What's the matter, Todd?"

"You'll go back out there when I say and now is not the time. I'll handle Blair without your help." Todd was practically spitting the words out.

"Hey Todd, I thought you weren't interested in being out any longer. You shut down and trapped all of us. I felt Blair's kiss, so I thought I might have a chance to get out and I was able to. You were just going to leave her high and dry and I love her too. She said if you didn't want to come back she could live with me. If you don't believe me, ask her yourself." grinned Samuel. He could see Todd was getting jealous and that was a good thing. With just a little more pressure, Todd would probably explode out of there and into Blair's arms. Then they both heard Blair's next words.

"Samuel you might as well come back it's obvious that everything Todd told me wasn't true. If he truly loved me he would have surfaced by now. Samuel, come back, I think you and I will do just fine together. Todd, I'm sorry you don't want me after all but Samuel seems to and Starr and Hope love him. I can't have you I'll love Samuel.  He would never leave someone like you've left me. Goodbye, Todd." Blair stood back and watched to see whether Todd or Samuel would awaken.

Todd glared at Samuel and pulled him down on the bed. "You stay put. I'll handle Blair, there is no way she could love you more than me."

"Hey you heard her, she thinks you don't want her. Tell me, Todd, just what do you want. If you want your life back and your woman then all you have to do is wake up and take them, I won't stand in your way. Which is it, Todd? Are you going to continue to hide or take what is yours?" said Samuel.

Samuel kept grinning at Todd and Todd was beginning to see red. Then he realized he wasn't in utter darkness any longer and he was conversing with Samuel which meant he could leave at will. He took another look around and noticed Tom and MsPerkins and Rodd all looking at him with smiles on their faces too. Suddenly it dawned on him what Samuel had done. Samuel had found a way to make Todd respond by making him jealous."God, Samuel, I was about to take off your head." Samuel nodded, " You took an awful risk making me angry. Answer this question for me. Did you mean it when you said you would take my place it I stayed hidden?"

"Todd, we're all parts of your whole but to keep you functioning I would have taken over for you again. I do love Blair and I also would have found a way to make her happy but she only wants me if you are not available, to her there is only one Real Todd. She loves you very much Todd, stop being a fool and get out there." Samuel replied,this time pushing Todd up off the bed. "By the way, you should know, Walker is awake. Now go and no more meltdowns."

Todd grinned back at all of them. "Bye for now I'll try and keep a better perspective on things." He opened his eyes to see Blair looking down at him. He didn't say anything but pulled her head down and began kissing her with everything he had in him.

Blair responded to his kiss a little warily because she wasn't sure whether she was kissing Samuel or Todd but then he began fondling her and she knew only Todd would go that next step. Her tentativeness ceased as she realized she was kissing Todd and he was back. She stopped him from removing her shirt and broke free from his kiss. Then she whacked him in the shoulder. "Damn you, don't you ever do that to me again. I was sure we had lost you for good this time." Then she took his face into her hands and started kissing him in earnest.

The doctor found them like that and they pulled apart so Todd could get checked out. "Mr. Toddman, because of your history you should make an appointment to see your therapist about these moments. You possibly need to get on some sort of drug regimen to address your depression and your heart problems. Since you appear fully aware again, I will release you But I'm going to prescribe something to keep you a little more mellowed out for this evening. Ms. Cramer may I suggest that someone stay with Mr. Toddman to make sure he doesn't have any ill effects from his earlier problem or the new medicine. I'll send the nurse in with a dose I want you to take immediately. I want you to take it, no matter what Mr. Toddman. I assure you this is mild mood stabilizer and there should be no physical side effects except the sensation of feeling good." The doctor stood there when the nurse arrived back with the medicine. Blair and the doctor waited and watched as Todd downed the pill.

Todd hadn't wanted to take the medicine but if it would keep his thoughts from turning to the darkness then he had to give it a try.  "Blair, Samuel says that Walker is awake. Is that true?"

" Yes Todd, He’s talking and the doctors told me he's currently out of danger unless someone makes another attempt. Shaun is going to maintain guard a little longer. Why do you ask?" questioned Blair.

"Because I think it's time we met," answered Todd and he was deadly serious as he said it.