Who's the Real Todd?, Ch. 20

"Great.  Now that we've got that settled, would you like another coffee or perhaps a drink, I could use a drink," asked Todd as he went to pour some drinks.

Ray shook his head. This was going to take some getting used to. He had never really been around what he would call a cheerful Todd.

"You're awfully quiet Ray, something bothering you?" Todd looked over questioning Ray as he got his glass and at Ray's nod poured a second one for him. He handed the drink to Ray and sat back down. "Alright spill."

"How do you do that? I've never seen a man turn on a dime like you just did," remarked Ray.

"What do you mean?" asked Todd. Then it dawned on him what Ray was referring to. "Oh that, it comes from years of practice talking to myself. Basically, I finally heard myself talking to you and realized how stupid and pathetic I was sounding and told myself to stop it. You're right, I can let this kill me or I can stand up and fight and take the initiative. I'm tired of letting my body call the shots. Everybody's been so worried I'll overdo it that I've started believing it too. I've been talking myself into the grave. They say the best defense is an offense so I'm going on the offensive. Hesser believes I'm Samuel. Well, he's going to see Samuel and Blair get ready for a Wedding but all the time we're planning, we'll also be working with Bo and Manning and the reporters at the Sun to find and locate him. I want to get to the bottom of my nightmares and work through the memories Samuel and I share, that's where you come in. And as for my periods of lost time, I'll live with that unless it gets dangerous because Pete has found a way to get loose. You've helped before, I'm trusting you to help me through this too." Todd actually felt good for the first time in a long time and he smiled at Ray.

This was a different man in every way possible then the man who had sat before him a few hours ago. The self-confidence just oozed out of Todd.  Ray didn't want to put a damper on Todd's mood but he resolved to keep a close watch on his friend just in case the depression started seeping back in. "Okay Todd, I think I understand, but I have to ask, I am talking to Todd right, not some new alter."

Todd laughed and said."That's funny Ray. Relax, it's me Todd, no one else."

They stopped talking as they heard the door opening and Blair entered the penthouse. Todd jumped up and went and swept her in his arms. "Hello, fiance." he took his time kissing her, not worried that Ray watched, after all, Ray knew exactly how he felt about Blair, and he was tired of hiding his feelings for this woman.

Blair was startled at first thinking that Rodd was out until she realized that the kiss was the kiss of the man she loved. She gave herself over to him and let him kiss her properly. As Todd released her, she found herself blushing when she realized Todd had actually kissed her in front of somebody. That was way out of character for Todd. To regain her composure she said hello to Ray and he simply smiled and nodded. "What's going on? Todd are you alright?"

Todd chuckled and pulled her down on his lap. "I'm fine, Blair, better than fine. We have a wedding to plan and Ray has agreed to be my best man and then we go to war."

Ray figured he better say something or Blair was going to start getting worried. He could tell from her expression that she wasn't used to this side of Todd. "Somewhere in the middle of our conversations today, Todd had an epiphany and decided he was tired of being depressed and so down. He has resolved to move forward hell or high water and the doctors and his body better hold on for the ride. Does that about cover it, Todd?" Todd nodded and hugged Blair.

Todd knew Blair was worried so he set her down next to him and looked at her. "Really, I'm alright. I can't live in a cocoon any longer. I know you're worried about me, but I came back to get my life and I'm going to do just that. Okay, Carlo's had the upper hand all this time and while I was being careful I found myself almost killed twice. If that happens when I being careful, I might as well just step forward and go all out to reveal everything he's done and just let him come forward and try to stop me. The key to him and his partner is in my brain and with Ray's help, I'm going to discover what it is. So the question is, are you by my side no matter what?"

Blair had listened to Ray and then listened to Todd. Now she knew who was sitting next to her. This was the man she had first married who had thought he had nothing but had been determined to provide the best for his child no matter what. It had been a long time since she had seen him. He had gotten lost when his first son had died. This man knew heartache and pain but was made of steel and she wouldn't leave his side again. "Todd, I'm with you, to the finish." this time, Todd leaned forward and gave her the simplest of kisses but the most endearing she had ever felt.

Ray put his glass down. "That's my cue. It's time I was leaving. Todd, I'm free again in a couple of days. Should I make plans for the room at Cherryvale or do you want to work here."

Todd thought for a moment and then said,"Ray, why don't we work here this next time. I don't want to draw attention to myself and I think Carlo is watching my movements. He'll be curious and want to know what I'm up to if he finds out I'm making trips to the clinic where he took me that night. I have to be Samuel for the time being and by the way, Samuel will probably be out when you come. It gives me time to recharge my mental batteries. Besides you can start with some of the things Samuel recalls about that time." Todd looked at Ray "Okay?"

“That's fine Todd. Same time as today?" Todd nodded. Ray replied "Good, I'll see you later then." As he headed for the door, Blair got up and joined him.

"Ray, do you think he's okay?" she asked.

Ray looked at her and nodded. "I think he's fine for now but you need to keep his spirits up. Don't let him dwell on anything that could send him tumbling again. Plan the wedding. As Best Man, I'm going to need a heads up on the date you choose so I can plan accordingly. Seriously, Blair, he's more confident right now than I've ever seen just watch for extreme mood swings. I think as long as he stays focused on undoing Carlo he'll be okay."

Blair walked into the living room to find Todd waiting for her, he seemed very serious as he took a sip of his drink and looked at her.

"You don't need to worry you know. I really am okay. Blair, I'm sorry I scared you and Starr the other night. I realized something while talking to Ray. I've been listening to my worst fears and reacting accordingly. I decided to take a page from Samuel's book. Samuel left that hospital in Philadelphia only knowing his name and the prognosis the Doctors had given him. Even back then my heart had been damaged but Samuel chose to forge ahead and live without worrying that the next day might be his last. Ever since I had that heart attack in the tomb I've been doing the opposite. I've been living in a shadow. I was so anxious about losing my life and all of you again I started playing it safe. That was a mistake. When have I ever played it safe? I want you, as my wife, by my side. Of course, marrying you might be the thing that does me in." Todd sounded so sincere until he suddenly grinned.

Blair stood there listening until his last sentence sunk in "Why You...you" Blair fumed, she had been so worried about him and here he was playing with her. She grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

Todd deftly caught it with one hand and said. "Blair you're losing your touch. You used to be able to read me better than that." he chuckled, stood and beckoned to her. "Come here."

Blair's eyes gleamed with anger and love. "You're a beast, You knew I was worried," she said but she went to him and he drew her into his embrace.

He nodded. "I knew, and I love you for it. Do you remember a Halloween night when we were flying high above the earth? We left our troubles on the ground and we made promises to each other. I didn't keep my promise. I promised you I wouldn't shut down or hide my feelings and if there was something bothering me I would tell you so that we would never have anything between us. I forgot that promise after I returned from Ireland and our lives have been messed up ever since. So I'm telling you upfront this time. Blair, worry about me but don't hold me back. This is my fight and I need to fight it my way. This might lead somewhere that others might not approve of. I told Bo I would try and do things legally but I'm no saint and if Carlo wants to play dirty, I'll meet him head to head. I'm giving you fair warning so you have a chance to back out now because once we're married, you'll be in it up to your ears." Todd paused. This time, there was no mistaking he meant every word.

Blair knew he meant business and woe to all people who got in his way. She gazed up at him and reached to move his hair behind his ear then her fingers trailed down his jaw coming to rest at his lips. She traced his lips and leaned in and met them with her own then she moved to his scars gently kissing as the tip of her tongue came out and moved along them.

Todd gasped as her tongue played along his scars. His mouth captured hers and they devoured each other. Todd pulled back first and he gazed at her, "So I guess your answer is, you're staying." Blair merely nodded and tried to capture his lips again. Todd reached up placing his finger on her lips, " Then I think we should take this to a place where we can discuss this in a more suitable environment." then he gently kissed her and steered her toward the stairs. Several hours later, Todd laid back against the pillows with Blair nestle in his arms and he gazed down at her. Once again that damn image popped into his head and he knew he would get no sleep. He would wait until she woke before sleeping. "Get this Hesser, wherever you are? I'm coming to get you.  So enjoy your sweet dreams this night, because soon you'll be the one having the nightmares."

Blair stirred and realized that the hour was still very early in the morning. She looked up and found Todd's eyes on her. "Good morning, what time is it anyway?"

Todd replied, "It's about 3:00am. We missed Dinner. I didn't have the heart to wake you, I figured you must have needed the sleep what with staying watch over me all these nights. Why don't we see if we can find something to eat."

Todd started to get up but Blair stopped him. "Todd, have you been awake all this time?" He looked away from her and she knew he had. "You have, haven't you. Did you think you would have another nightmare? Is that why you wouldn't sleep." Again he had no answer. " Todd, talk to me, you promised."

Todd frowned but he had promised. "Blair, I still keep seeing you lying in my arms dead and I couldn't go to sleep because I'm afraid I'll wake up to that again. I can't and won't let that happen. I'll sleep later when you're at work." As Blair started to say more Todd captured her lips silencing her momentarily.

When he finished she decided to let things drop. It was obviously all he was willing to say on the matter and she would make sure he got some sleep before she left for the Sun. "You promise you'll try and get some sleep later." Todd merely looked at her and she knew he wouldn't make any promise he might not be able to keep.

Todd removed his arm from behind her and hopped out of bed, "I don't know about you but I'm starved." slipping on his slacks he looked at Blair, " You coming?" he started to leave the room .

"Todd, wait, will you. Let me get dressed at least. " Blair crawled out of bed the sheet still around her looking for her clothes.

Todd looked at her admiring how beautiful she was all tousled and flustered. He walked backed to her and took her clothes from her, dropping them to the floor and then went about draping the sheet around her and tucking it in until she looked like a Greek goddess, "You're beautiful just as you are. Now let's go eat." he offered her his arm and bemused she took it and he escorted her from the room.

Blair looked at him as they descended the stairs amazed at the change in him from a couple of days earlier. This was the confident man who had been at the top of his game after inheriting his trust fund. Oh, how she had missed this man. She still hadn't forgiven herself for ever thinking that Walker was this man. Now that they were both in the same city, Walker paled beside Todd.

Todd sat her down by the coffee table and instructed her to wait. So she sat patiently listening to him rummage around in the kitchen. He reemerged holding a tray full of fruits and cheese and a homemade loaf of bread which he set down. He walked and got a bottle of wine and two glasses and joined her at the table. Pouring the wine, he handed her a glass and said, "To you. Thank you, for somehow still loving me after everything I put you through all these years." he lifted his toast to her and took a quick gulp, and began eating.

Blair smiled as she realized Todd was feeling awkward. He could take away her breath with his passion but when he expressed his love in words he always seemed uncomfortable doing so. She loved that about him, that vulnerability that few people recognized. Todd had always used his wit and sarcasm to protect himself rather than let people see the real him. She had a feeling only a select few were privy to this Todd.

Todd looked up from the food, sensing her gaze, and said. "What? Aren't you hungry?"

"Actually, I'm starved but it all looks so good I'm not sure where to start. " before she could pick something, Todd picked a ripe strawberry and held it to her lips watching as she took a bite. Noticing the little bit of juice that escaped, he leaned in and kissed the spot. Then he finished the berry, smiling before offering her a second. Blair's lips tingled from his brief kiss and she ate, fascinated by the feeling growing in her with each bite. Todd offered her more wine, watching intently as she lowered the glass suggestively to her breast. He noticed her breath quickening and knew she was getting aroused, she took another sip of her wine and accidentally spilled a little bit, he watched as it trailed down her long neck and disappeared beneath the sheet. Todd reached over and took the glass from her. Setting it down carefully he moved closer then began licking the wine she had spilled. A sigh escaped her lips as he explored and laying her down he carefully began unwrapping the sheet until she lay fully exposed to his gaze. He picked up the glass and poured a small stream down her body then proceeded to follow it with his tongue. With the tip of his finger, he captured a drop and held it enticingly over her lips letting it drop, oh so gently, upon them.

Blair was feeling the sensations wash over her with each stroke of his tongue when she suddenly felt a single drop land on her lips. As her tongue crept out to lick it, Todd's lips found hers, and Blair wound her hands through his hair pulling him on top of her so she could feel his heart against hers. Her hands worked their way down his back loving the feel of him. They were working as one, caressing and fondling each other, letting the passion take them higher and higher. As they gently descended from the clouds Blair joyously captured Todd's mouth again giving him back all the joy she was feeling at that moment. As the kiss finally ended she gazed up at him, loving every feature. She moved his hair so she could view his beautiful eyes. She was going to marry this man. Nothing was going to tear them apart. Silently she made a vow. She looked at Todd and said, "Alright, let's go get him, it's time he got a taste of his own medicine."

Todd smiled, as always they were both on the same wavelength. He kissed her and replied. "He won't know what hit him."