The MST, Ch. 28

The next few days were the happiest days Samuel had ever experienced. The penthouse had never seen so much activity. Blair and Starr insisted they would do everything. The only chore they gave him was to keep his granddaughter occupied. Samuel lost no time doing just that. Soon he and Hope were laughing their way through Sir Dragon's magical forest, all the while actually winding through all the boxes and stuff brought over for the move. Then they were making their way up to the home of Princess Shorty as they struggled up the great mountain to reach the castle in the sky.

Starr watched as her dad took Hope through their journeys. She had promised her Mom that he wouldn't overdo anything. She was worried. Samuel was getting stronger since the attack, but she had seen him pause now and again. He was still having some sort of problem, but he wouldn't talk about it.

That first night after the heart attack, when they finally had a chance to really sit and talk, Starr had been stunned by all the revelations. Samuel and her mom filled her in on what they could remember of the night he disappeared. Samuel was still struggling with the event of that night, but he was able to fill her in on the last eight years. They had also explained how he was Samuel and not Todd. The funny thing about that was, it didn't matter the name he went by, he was her dad, She saw him when he smiled at her or played with Hope. She also saw him when he'd watch her mom doing something.  He would get a look in his eyes and she knew her Dad was there at that moment.

They had long discussions about the man who had raised her in the last several years. All of a sudden the differences between Samuel and Walker seemed obvious. Like her mother, Starr had begun to think of him as Walker, they no longer saw him as Todd.  

Starr had a dilemma on her hands. She hadn't seen Walker since he had manhandled Dani's boyfriend. In fact, she was still trying to make Dani understand where her father was coming from. That was another problem. Both she and her mom had decided not to tell Samuel about Dani yet. They were uneasy about dropping another bombshell on him right at the moment. All of them were in agreement that it was best if Jack was also kept out of the loop. He idolized Walker and really had no memories of his real dad. Samuel didn't need rejection now, he needed support. Tea and Walker were relatively happy, so it was decided that their lives would not be disrupted yet. Still, eventually, Samuel or Todd was going to make a public appearance and claim his life back. None of them wanted to think of who would survive the fallout.

Samuel had put Hope down for her nap when the doorbell rang. Starr had the water running in the kitchen, so Samuel answered the door. A messenger handed Samuel a package. He paid the young man a tip and walked back into the living room. He knew that what he held in his hands was going to change things once again. Samuel walked over to his desk and picked up his letter opener and opened the package. He sat down on the couch and started reading.

Starr walked out of the kitchen and saw Samuel reading a bunch of papers. "Dad, who was that at the front door? Is everything alright?"  It didn't look like Samuel had received good news. She saw his knuckles turning white as he crushed the edges of the papers.

  "Dear Mr. Toddman, enclosed is a copy of our findings concerning the Kipling Neuroscience Research Facility. At your request, we have managed to uncover the names of the persons backing the facility.  This is a list of all backers, please note that one of the backers is indeed Carlo Hesser. Per your other request, we've managed to find out that the facility has had several research projects concerning tapping into the deep subconscious. One such project funded by Mr. Hesser was a Memory Transference Project known as REMSWITCH. We also discovered a second Project being studied and tested in conjunction with REMSWITCH known as the BLINDSIDE project. This second project involved Brain Manipulations. According to some of the results, they had a high degree of success, with a number of subjects. This project involved the use of new brainwashing techniques being studied for the military and some high-tech micro hardware used on the test subject's brains. It is said to be so successful the army is using it to create spies who infiltrate a situation by literally becoming someone else. These spies are so manipulated they are no longer aware of their original pasts."

Samuel didn't need to read anymore. He now knew what Hesser did all those years ago. He had somehow ended up in Carlo Hesser's hand and Carlo had used the situation to his advantage. Carlo had experimented on him in his weakened state and managed to gain access to his memories. Then some poor man had been given Todd's memories and with the help of some high-tech machinery, he had become Todd. Carlo had victimized them both. Samuel was sure Carlo and the facility had been handsomely paid for the Projects and then Carlo had sat back and enjoyed the show he had created on the Llanview Stage. Samuel wanted to strike out at something so bad. Now he knew why Pete was always held in check. Right now, he wanted to kill Carlo Hesser.

Samuel put the papers down and smiled up at Starr. "It's OK Starr, I just got some information I've been waiting for. You might want to read it. It's a report of a facility I think I spent time in after my accident. It's my belief that the people in the facility messed with my memory. My contact says that two research experiments were underway at the same time I was missing. I have three unaccounted for months. I also believe that my impostor might also have been experimented on. I believe he might have been the recipient of my memories. That's why he was able to fool all of you. He's as much a pawn as I am. He truly believes he's me. I don't know much about the years I've been away. I think both you and your mom are trying to shield me. Please, I need to know more about what happened in my absence. " Samuel patted the couch next to him. "Talk to me.  Please."

Starr sat down next to her dad. She wasn't sure what to start with. "Well, I know you've been wondering about Hope. I'll tell you if you promise to not get mad. You're going to hear things that are going to hurt but they're not about you. Please know I don't blame you for anything that happened. I'm sure you already figured out I'm not married. My boyfriend, Hope's father, is in jail for murder. But the man he killed was an evil man who tried to kill Mom and almost killed Tea. The man who died was Eli Clark, mom's late husband. My boyfriend's name is Cole Thornhart. Yes, Dad, Patrick, and Marty's son. I made a foolish mistake a couple of years ago. Hope is the result of that mistake. But I love her dearly and don't regret keeping her. I know you want to know where Walker was during all of this. Walker has always been over the top protective of me and there was an incident in high school that turned him against Cole, He's never been able to accept Cole since then." Starr awaited trying to gauge how much more she could tell her dad.

"Do you want to hear more?" Samuel just nodded. " Ok, I mentioned Tea. Tea came to town to help Walker. He was in jail for kidnapping and raping Marty Saybrook."

At that, Samuel got up and started to pace. "What do you mean rape?"

"Ok Dad, please I need you to sit back down. Please your heart. If this is so upsetting I won't tell you anymore." Starr was frantic. She wasn't getting through to him.

Todd was seething. He knew Starr had already left out parts of her story with Cole and now she was telling them that Marty had once again been raped. Just what kind of man had been living his life, but he knew the answer. Once a rapist always a rapist. This impostor believed he was capable of atrocities because Todd knew he was capable of atrocities. Ms. Perkins came up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Todd, you've got to pull him back and yourself with him. We almost died the other day. Don't you feel it? We're in danger again." Then he realized what Ms. Perkins was saying, the heart was beating too rapidly and was starting to skip beats, he needed to calm Samuel down. "Samuel, you must stop. We can't take the strain. Think of Hope, Samuel. That's it. Our little granddaughter. Remember how she looked when you tucked her in. Good, Samuel, we're alright now. You need to reassure Starr."

Samuel had been seeing red when he heard Todd. What was he saying? Think of Hope. Samuel pulled his thoughts away from the danger zone they were in and concentrated on Hope. He recalled how she had looked so peaceful in her sleep. Samuel took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He felt a hand on his arm and followed it to the concerned face of his daughter. He patted her hand and said "I'm Ok, but you were right, I’m not up to these revelations. I'll need to wait a little longer before hearing anything else. Why don't you pour some wine for me and get a soda for yourself and I'll tell you some stories about Paris." For the next hour, Samuel told Starr about the beautiful city he had lived in. As always, Starr found his stories charming and humorous. She had truly missed this with Walker. Had she been so desperate to have her Dad back that she had just overlooked the little things that Walker had lacked? The little things that had made her Dad special.  Like his knack for storytelling and his affinity with children. It was so obvious now. Samuel had stopped talking and was looking at her quizzically. She smiled and leaning over gave him a hug.

Samuel's night was once again filled with nightmares. He felt like he was in a maze, but every time he tried to retrace his steps he felt a pain in his head. When he started going forward again and the pain eased. He reached a door and opened it. He didn't enter, he merely observed what was in the room. He saw the night he raped Marty. It was like looking at a movie screen as the whole sordid crime played out, then the door slammed in his face. Once again he was being directed forward and another door appeared. Now he was looking at Blair and watching their lives crash and burn with every falsehood that stood between them, but every so often something beautiful would emerge from the shattered pieces, Starr and Jack. The door slammed again, Samuel tried to open it but it was locked.  Why couldn't he get it opened again? More doors opening, more memories, and then suddenly, locked away from him. Finally, he came to the last three doors. He couldn't get them opened. The forces that had pushed him along howled in anger. He was terrified but he couldn't open the doors. Two doors were more terrifying to him than the pain that was assailing him. He didn't want to open them. The last door held something so essential to him, he couldn't let someone else have it. Samuel knew somehow that those three doors could and would only be open when he wanted them open and no one was going to make that happen by hurting him. Suddenly with one last inhuman shriek, the push ceased. He was just drifting, out of the maze but feeling empty.

Samuel awoke. That had been no nightmare. That had been a memory, of that he was sure. Even though Todd had been unconscious, his subconscious had retained the memory of the research that had been performed on him. Samuel knew what the one room had contained. Todd had hidden his Alters in the one room and because of that Carlo had not been aware of them. Samuel feared the other two rooms held the dark secrets that Todd couldn't face. Samuel had the key to one of those doors. Could he and Todd survive if he opened it? Samuel felt that deep chill go through his body. It felt like death warmed over. Samuel wasn't going to get any more sleep. An enormous weight was beginning to weigh him down. Samuel had to find something to lift it. He headed downstairs and walked to his supplies grabbing a blank canvas and his paints.  He set to work painting a portrait of Hope. This might be his last chance to paint and he wanted Starr to have it. Letting his imagination take over he painted his beautiful little Hope as Princess Shorty on the back of the magnificent Black Dragon flying through the clouds toward her castle in the sky, guided only by a single bright Star in the night.

In the morning Starr found her dad asleep on the couch. She had been worried when she went past his room and found it empty. Starr could smell fresh paint and knew Samuel had been painting. After carefully covering Samuel with a blanket, she opened the gate to his little studio and went in to see who he had painted this time. Her little Hope, he had painted Hope. Starr's heart felt like it was breaking, Samuel had only known Hope for a short time, but the love he felt for her just jumped out at Starr. The look of pure joy on Hope's face as she rode her great Dragon was priceless, as was the love that was shown in the eyes of the dragon towards Little Hope.

Starr knew he had painted it for her. Samuel was sure that he would somehow be able to get her Dad back but that he would no longer be around. He had wanted to give her a gift from him, Samuel. Starr looked over at her dad. She didn't care if he was Samuel, or Tom or any of his other alters, she loved him and she wanted him alive. She wished he would give up this idea of facing that awful secret. If it had been so bad to send her Dad so deep within himself, Starr feared this time it would take his life.