The MST, Ch. 13

"You idiot! You know Ms. Perkins wants us to leave Samuel alone. I can't stick around here and make sure you don't shoot off your mouth, so you're just going to have to come and help at the barrier." said Pete.

"But Pete, I promise I won't say anymore and Ms. Perkins said I was to stay here with Todd. I know I was wrong." pleaded Tom.

"Todd Schmodd, you're coming with me. I don't trust you, you're too weak and trusting. Samuel doesn't need us at the moment and neither does Todd. Look he's actually sleeping quietly right now. We need you at the barrier and you're going, so shut up!" that said Pete grabbed Tom and headed into the darkness.

Over on the bed, Todd began to stir. He turned over and opened his eyes. Todd laid there for a moment staring up and not seeing anything. He started to sit up but was hit by overwhelming dizziness. "Whoa, what the heck? I can hardly move and my head, I must have had too much to drink. Why is it so dark in here? Where the heck is the light?" Even as he lay there, the darkness was lifting. He looked around at his surroundings, but there wasn't much to see. He tried once again to sit up and this time he managed it. He saw a table and some chairs in the distance. "What is this place? This is weird." He slowly got to his feet, but everything started spinning again. He forced himself to stay upright and took steps toward the table and chairs. Making it there, he quickly sat down. "Boy, why do I feel so weak? Where the hell am I?"

As he looked around he suddenly noticed the window in front of him. It was huge. He looked out and felt his heart skip a beat. He saw himself looking back at him, but not the self he remembered. This Todd was older, with long hair. The most disturbing thing Todd saw was not one but two scars intersecting his cheek. Todd reached for his cheek and got another surprise. There was nothing there. He didn't have any scars. But he was looking at them. Suddenly the view changed and he found himself looking at a room full of paintings, paintings of Tea, Vicki, and Blair. "What the...?" Todd was hit by a realization. He took another quick look around. He knew where he was now, he was trapped in his own head. He wasn't looking out a window, he was looking out his own eyes and he wasn't in charge. Which one of his idiot alters was in charge right now and who had painted all the pictures? There was something else bothering him. Why had he looked so much older? Where had the second scar come from? He sat there and tried to remember what had happened, but he got nothing. He was beginning to feel stronger, but he didn't remember how he got there. "Okay Todd, you know something pretty bad had to happen to bring out an alter. God, I hope Pete's not in charge." Strangely as he watched the scene unfold in front of him, he didn't think it was Pete.

Todd sat there remembering when he had first realized he wasn't alone in his head anymore. When he had been little, he could remember going someplace safe when his father had started hurting him. It wasn't until he hit his pre-teens that he realized while he was being safe, someone else was running his body. After finding out about all the lost time, he decided he needed to know who was running things when he wasn't. After a lot of conversations with different people, Todd had figured out that there was a 'gentle Todd' that would come out.

He had thought at first maybe he was going crazy but then had decided it wasn't hurting anyone, especially him, to let 'gentle Todd' out. Then that fateful birthday happened. As his father had held him down, Todd remembered starting to let himself go to the safe place but he realized he couldn't let 'gentle Todd' face Peter Manning's wrath either. He remembered actually encountering 'gentle Todd' as he was retreating into his mind and suddenly grabbing him and holding him. Todd hadn't wanted either of them to have to face what he knew Peter was getting ready to do. As he and 'gentle Todd' struggled both afraid of what was happening Todd heard this cry of rage and suddenly 'Pete' had torn past both he and 'gentle Todd'. Together they had watched as 'Pete' attempted to kill Peter Manning. 'Pete' almost succeeded that night, except Sam Rappaport got there and pulled 'Pete' off his father. While things were slowly calming down, Todd had stopped struggling with 'gentle Todd' and they had taken a long hard look at each other. 'Gentle Todd' had smiled and held out his hand and said "Thanks, my name is Tom." It had been weird to be standing there talking to himself but not himself.

That night when 'Pete' was starting to fall asleep, Todd had felt himself being drawn to the bed. Right before his head touched the pillow he and 'Pete' met, they stared at each other for a moment, "Don't worry I'll protect us all. The name's Pete." he said and walked away; leaving Todd back in charge.

Todd remembered meeting 'Rodd' after his brief first encounter with Marty. She had so confused him that night that 'Rodd' made a quick appearance to him but Todd quickly took back over because he wasn't ready for a committed relationship. Unfortunately, when Marty stomped all over him and humiliated him the night of the Spring Fling, Todd snapped and 'Pete' came out and raped her. It had taken everything in Todd to face what 'Pete' had done. Of course, he still had the scar as a constant reminder.

Todd flinched as he remembered just what that rape had cost him. His head was pounding again. Then he realized he was hearing pounding going on somewhere else. He got to his feet slowly and started moving toward the sound.

Todd kept going toward the sound. The pounding was getting louder and suddenly he saw them, all of his alters, even Ms. Perkins trying to get through some sort of translucent wall. He noticed images that seemed to be floating around behind the wall, but he couldn't make out what the images were. Then he realized that all of his alters were standing in front of him. Hell, who was running his body if everybody was here. His head was pounding even more and he was starting to get dizzy. He didn't want to blackout, he had a feeling he had been out for a long time already and he needed some answers. He also needed help. "Hey, Ms. Perkins, Tom, anybody. Help!"

Ms. Perkins turned immediately and saw Todd standing there about to topple over. She grabbed Rodd and they quickly went to Todd.

"You're awake, take it easy we've got you." As if by magic, the bed appeared close at hand. Rodd and Ms. Perkins guided Todd to the bed and made him comfortable. "You shouldn't have gotten up so soon. You've been in a dream state for a very long time."

"What the heck is that," Todd asked?.

" When you first came here as a young boy you came in a dream state and Tom came into being. While Tom was out, you slept. When you would awake, Tom would come home. But you ceased to sleep when you would escape here once you met Tom and Pete. I can see you're bewildered, you don't remember that do you." said Ms. Perkins.

"You're saying I was awake every time after I met Tom, Rodd and

Pete. If that's the case then why did you say I've been in a dream state for a long time and just how long are we talking about?" asked Todd.

"You need to understand that in the first six months you were so badly hurt all of us were incapacitated. But when your body came to and we awoke, you were with us and totally lost to us in a dream state. I realized that another Alter had appeared. His name is Samuel Toddman and he is that part of you that wanted to be the most like Sam and has your artistic talents. He has been living for you all this time. Now I know your next question. How much time? Todd, you've been gone for over seven years." Ms. Perkins kept a hand on Todd, keeping him from rising. "Relax, it's a shock but you have to come to terms with it if we're to finish setting everything right."

"Shock! Lady you just told me I've missed out on seven years of my life. Hell yes, it's a shock! I'm awake now, how come I'm still here?" Todd made a move to stand up but his legs would no longer support him. "What is going on?"

"Todd, what is the last thing you remember?" asked Ms.Perkins.

Todd looked at her. What was the last thing he remembered? He tried to think back to his last waking moment but all he got was a blank slate and the harder he tried to see what should have been right in front of him the more obscure it got. Why couldn't he draw on his memories? The last thing he remembered clearly was Peter Manning dying. Even the memory of what he had done to Marty wasn't sharp. It had always been so clear, something he had never forgotten but now he couldn't quite grasp it. "I don't know. The last thing I remember clearly is Peter Manning dying and my encounters with all of you. Why can't I remember my life after that? No. Wait! I remember Blair, Vicki, and Tea. I remember their faces but that's it." Todd looked at Ms. Perkins and Rodd. "Why can't I remember?"

"We've been trying to figure that out for a long time. A recent turn of events has led us to believe that something was done to you during the six months that we all were out. That room and wall you saw us trying to get through are where all your memories are stored. We've only managed to make small dents in it until now. The pieces of memories that escape have been the basis for Samuel's artwork. You see, Samuel has no past memories either. The only memory Samuel had when he woke up, concerned his name and a safe deposit box. I believe that you chose the name Samuel Toddman as an alias and deposited funds at the bank where your trust fund had been kept. For some reason, the walls you put around us all those years ago to hide what Peter did to you, is the reason we're here now. Your natural walls kept us hidden from whoever put that barrier around the rest of your memories. Samuel saw Blair recently and that triggered a crack in the wall around your memories and we've been working to break down that wall. More and more cracks are appearing. If we can release your memories, we can discover what caused Samuel to appear. Then and only then will you be able to take back your life." Ms. Perkins gently pushed Todd down on the bed. " Don't worry. I truly believe you'll be getting out of here soon."

Todd laid down and tried to take in everything Ms. Perkins had just told him. Had he really missed seven years of his life? Just who had hurt him and why were his memories locked behind that translucent wall? No! He couldn't just lay here anymore. He had been doing that for far too long. It was imperative that he get those memories back and soon. "I've got to get out, this is worse than prison. I need my life back whatever that is. I'll go crazy here. Someone trapped me here but why?" He looked over at Rodd and Ms. Perkins. "Well don't just stand there. Get that stupid wall down. I don't have all day. You guys are here to help me, get with it. Yeah, Yeah, Ms. Perkins, I'll stay put for now; but you know I don't have much patience, you’ve got to get me out of here."

Ms. Perkins and Rodd left him and he settled down, turning so he could see what Samuel was up to. "I guess you and I need to meet soon Samuel. You're there because I obviously needed you, but I'm back now and it's time for you to come home."

Samuel was still thinking of the voices in his head as he headed into the sitting room. He looked at the girls surrounding him. Suddenly, as he looked at them, he saw three names. Vicki, Tea, and Blair popped into his head. Those names, yes, he knew them, he felt drawn to his Muses. He looked at his sister's portrait and realized he was looking at Vicki. He turned to face Dee, but even as he did, he realized he was looking at Tea. But that still wasn't quite right, not to him. It was Tea, but he called her....he called her Dee for a reason, it was because...yes! He remembered! He called her Delgado. His precious Dee was Delgado. Did that mean? Of course, there was only one other name and it had to belong to his other beauty. The one who gave him so many moments to paint. Blair was his third Muse. Samuel had to sit down. His Muses finally had their names. Each name fitting its portrait. "How come I forgot all of you and why has it taken this long to remember, better yet what has happened recently to bring your names back to me?" Samuel tried to think back when everything really started to occur and he found himself going back to the morning he decided to pop in at the gallery.

Yes, that sudden headache when he saw that woman about to enter Tomas's Gallery. He looked at the girls and then everything became clear. "My God! That was Blair! Blair is here and she knows Tomas. I've got to find her." He started to get up but was suddenly hit with another jolt of pain. "Ahhh!" He leaned back into the couch clutching his head and praying for the pain to lessen. He was starting to blackout when he heard a voice "You sap, don't you dare give in, too much is at stake. Come on .. you've been hurt worse...breathe through it...That's it.. Come on ...there you go... You got work to do... I need you Samuel." and as he listened the pain started easing up. Samuel's vision cleared. "Okay, That voice had some authority to it, whoever he was, he was good in a crisis." Samuel thought. Hmm maybe now wasn't quite the time to go looking for Blair. He still had to find out what Alex and the person behind her were up to. He had planned to wait to get back in touch with her, but something was driving him to get on with it. The delay was over, it was now time for action. Samuel reached for the phone. He put through the call to the Ritz. "Suite 240 please." Samuel waited as the phone rang.

"Hello," Alex had picked up the phone rather cautiously. The only one she could think of who would be calling was Carlo. After last night she still hadn't figured out how she was going to find Samuel and she was afraid Carlo might have realized that what she had told him last night wasn't true.

"Dear Alex, This is Samuel. It's lovely to hear your voice today. I'm sorry last evening got cut so short just when we were beginning to get to know each other. I realized that my schedule for the rest of today was light and decided that I would indeed like to show you Paris. Please tell me you haven't already made plans for the day." Samuel said.

"My Goodness, Samuel I was just thinking of last night. I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear from you. I was afraid last night that you would not be able to see me anymore and I felt truly sorry. I too felt like we were hitting it off last night. I would be delighted to spend the day with you. I have no plans. I'm all yours." Alex replied. She couldn't believe it. She was going to have another shot at Samuel.

"Excellent, I'm looking forward to spending more time with you also. Shall I pick you up in an hour?" asked Samuel. "The attire for today should be casual chic, my dear."

"Yes, That will give me plenty of time to pick out something I'm sure will please you. In an hour, then." Alex hung up quite pleased with the turn of events. Obviously, she hadn't lost her charm. Today should prove to be interesting.

Samuel smiled as he hung up the phone. She had taken the bait. He looked at his girls.  "Ladies, it's time to find out what's been going down all these years. Something tells me that Alex is the one who's going to help me blow this whole situation wide open. I'm not who I was three days ago. I'm stronger, and whoever has been behind all of my troubles is about to find out that they can no longer control me. It's my life and I'm taking it back."