Todd gripped Blair’s hand hard and then he saw her wince. He released his hold a little bit but didn’t let go. He also tried to keep his eyes on her and began to wish Larry would just let him be. His thinking was muddled and he kept getting images of Victor, falling to pieces in front of him; Victor’s skeletal hands grasping his. “I’m never going to sleep again,“ he vowed under his breath. He couldn’t do it anymore. This nightmare was the worst he could remember, and he wished it would fade. The images were sharp in his head. None of this would have happened if it hadn’t been for that bastard, Laurence. He couldn’t even get through one night in peace.
A shiver surged through Todd as he began to dwell on the dream, and once again his heart rate began to speed up. Larry frowned and ordered some medication to counteract the anxiety attack Todd was beginning to undergo. His breathing and blood pressure both escalated.
After his initial words to Blair, Todd had been quiet. The pain in his eyes remained and he kept losing focus. When she felt the shiver rip through him, she put her hand on his face trying to bring his attention back to her. “Todd, let it go. It was horrible, but it was a nightmare, it wasn’t real.”
His eyes locked onto hers again. “It won’t go away Blair, it’s all I can see.” He was getting agitated and didn’t even notice the nurse administering something into his IV. He lost focus of Blair as Victor’s laughing grotesque face reappeared and he began reaching toward Todd once more; Todd panicked and reacted to the vision, struggling to catch his breath and shook his head. “Blair, help me!” he tightened his hold on her hand desperate to get rid of the image.
Blair stroked his brow and started talking about Hope and Sam and how she had found them the morning before, pretending to be Sir Dragon and Princess Shorty. “Todd, they were so cute. You should have seen Sam, he was swooping all over the room, supposedly fighting all the evil villagers who wanted to hurt Princess Shorty, and then he actually had Hope get on his back and gave her a piggyback ride. It was adorable.” Blair felt Todd beginning to calm, his grip lessening and his eyes losing the haunted look, as the medication began to take effect. He relaxed back against the pillow and started to smile as she spoke about the two littlest Mannings.
Little Sam. Just thinking about him was something that brought cheer to Todd. He loved that kid and wanted to make him his son legally. Sam was someone who, through no fault of his own, had lost both his parents. A mother he never knew, and a father who ultimately fell short when it came to giving his son the love he should have. It hadn’t been all Jake’s fault, because of the programming and control that Kipling had had over him, but the little boy had been caught in the fallout. The best thing that had happened for Sam was Blair becoming his adoptive mother. Todd knew what her love meant because it was the one thing that had saved him more times than he could count. Sam had flourished as Blair’s son. He was full of hope and wonder. So much so, that when he was around, Todd felt the weight he carried on his shoulders lessened and he was able to just enjoy life through Sam’s eyes.
Larry was pleased to see Todd’s stats returning to normal. To ensure the drugs were cleared from Todd’s system, he ordered a second bag of solution to follow the first. “Todd, because of the bad reaction, I’m going to insist you stick around a little longer.”
Todd was feeling better thanks to the anti-anxiety meds and started to protest. “Larry I’m sick of hospitals.”
“I understand Todd but humor me. Not only were we unable to bring you out of your nightmare, but the drugs adversely affected your body. I need to be sure you don’t relapse.”
Todd was too weary to argue. He had had too many nights recently without sleep and his body was setting the rules. Still, he was fearful to relax in the bed, he didn’t want to drift off into sleep again. He knew his father was just waiting to trap him again. “Blair, help me out. I promise to take it easy, but I need to get up and move. If I stay here, he’ll come back.”
Blair looked at him bewildered. “Todd, who will come back?”
“My father, I can feel him lurking.” Todd looked around the room nervously.
Blair’s eyes met Rays’ and he nodded. Ray moved back into Todd’s line of sight.
As soon as Todd saw him, he felt a surge of relief. Ray understood. He would help him. “Ray, good to see you. You understand, don’t you? Victor wants me. You need to back up Blair and tell Larry to let me out of here. I’ve got to get back to my life. I won’t let Victor take me.”
Ray had been listening to everything and knew Larry had made the right decision to keep Todd longer. The drugs still had a grip on Todd’s psyche, and he was in no shape to leave. “Todd, Larry has your best interest at heart. Relax.”
Blair sat down next to Todd and he focused on her once more. “Todd, it’s all right. Victor isn’t here. Remember? Victor’s dead. You’re just confused because of the medicine. It was all a bad dream.”
He frowned. He was trying to clear his thoughts, but it was difficult. “It was a dream?”
“Yes, Todd. Larry just told you. You had a reaction to the sleep medication he prescribed.”
“Right.” Todd was skeptical but looked at Larry, wanting confirmation again.
Larry met his eyes. “Blair’s correct Todd. But tell me, did you take exactly what I prescribed?”
Medicine for sleep, think Todd . You wanted to not think about Mitch. He remembered opening the bottle and putting one tablet in his hand. No wait. Two. I took two tablets. God, you idiot, Manning You did this to yourself. “I think I took two tablets, Larry, I was hoping to sleep without any dreams at all.”
That explained a lot of things. Larry wrote something on Todd’s chart and turned back to him. “Todd, we’re still waiting for the results of the blood tests we did when you arrived. But now I have a clearer picture of what happened. One pill probably would have still caused problems. but the additional pill exacerbated the situation. Now, you need to stay here long enough for the second IV to do its work, once it’s finished we’ll check another blood sample and hopefully, the drug will have been diluted enough to allow you to get back to your day. I’m going to leave you alone now. Blair can stay and keep you company. I’ll check back later.”
Todd wanted to kick himself. His head was finally starting to clear and he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. When it came to Mitch, Todd lost all of his good sense. The previous evening was proof of that. He looked again at his friend. “Blair, called you in didn’t she?”
Ray walked to the side of the bed Larry had vacated. “She did. You should have contacted me sooner.”
“I know. Damn Ray, I thought I had a handle on things.”
Ray gave a small smile. “Well I think it’s pretty obvious just who has the handle on things and it isn’t you. Blair told me about your sleepless nights. Todd, this has been escalating for months. This isn’t the time for a talk but when you’re home we need to address this, all three of us. In the meantime, do you still feel your father is hanging around to trap you?”
Todd was unable to stop himself from taking a quick look around at the mere mention of his father. Realizing just as quickly what he had done, he attempted to gather himself. “I’m seriously fucked up right now.”
Ray nodded in agreement. “Now the question is, do you believe us when we tell you what’s happening isn’t real and is related to the drug interaction?”
Todd took a deep breath. He wanted to believe what they were saying so badly. But suddenly Victor was looming, his hands raising and reaching towards Todd, he was directly behind Ray and Todd wanted to run. He turned his eyes away from the horror he was seeing and tried to focus on Blair “I hear you guys, but don’t you see him? He’s right behind you, Ray.” he rubbed his eyes, but Victor remained. “ Am I finally going nuts, Ray?”
Ray looked around knowing nothing was there, Todd’s hallucinations were a direct cause of the medicine. He needed to reassure Todd. “ No Todd, you’re not. What exactly do you see?”
“Him, he’s standing there and reaching for me. He said I was dead like him.” Todd felt trapped, nothing seemed right. “ Is any of this real? Is the reason he’s still here because I’m imagining all this? God, that’s it, none of this is real. I really am in hell and it’s just another form of punishment, thinking you’re real.” He looked at Blair afraid and tried to pull free. “You’re not real, let go.”
Blair did the only thing she could think of to try and get through to him. Before he could push her farther away she grabbed his head and kissed him. Even though he struggled at first, she clung to him refusing to let go until he started responding to her kiss.
Todd felt her lips on his, at first he tried to get free, filled with terror, thinking she would start to melt away like Victor, but then it registered she wasn’t going anyplace. Those lips were hers, the ones he knew and loved. She was real, he was real. His arms went around her and he kissed her back. They hung on to each other, Todd clinging like never before to his salvation, and Blair determined to let him know he was as real as she was by any means at her disposal.
Ray had been alarmed at Todd’s sudden turn from reality but had watched as Blair had instinctively reacted to the situation and taken charge. They finally came up for air, separating, and breathless. Todd reluctantly loosened his hold on Blair and held a shaky hand out to Ray. Ray gripped his hand firmly and heard a sigh of relief come from Todd. “It’s okay buddy. You’re real and so are we.” He noticed Todd still looking around. “Maybe it’s time to turn this talk away from the last few hours. We haven't talked since before the blackout, but I understand you had something to do with getting young Thornhart his pardon. That surprised me, given your history with his mother.”
Todd released his hand from Ray’s. Victor was nowhere in sight. He levered himself up to a more sitting position then pulled Blair down next to him on the bed, wrapping his free arm tightly around her waist as if holding tightly to a life preserver. He focused on Ray’s statement. “The kid saved a guard’s life and also kept Hesser from getting free. Besides, he’s Hope’s dad. I felt he deserved a second chance. He was supposed to start work at The Sun today, but that’s been shot to hell.” Talking about Cole brought the children to mind. God. what did the kids see? “Blair, the children have to be terrified.”
“Relax Todd, the boys and Hope have no idea what transpired last night. Jack and Sam woke up when the helicopter lifted off; I talked to Starr just before you awoke, and she told them the police helicopter made a landing for a quick repair. They both thought it was cool, then returned to bed. Starr said she would just say we wanted some privacy this morning if they wonder why we’re not at breakfast. By the time they get home from school, we’ll be there.”
“See Todd, Starr’s right on the ball. That’s one smart girl. As Cole’s prison therapist I was notified of his address. Is Cole staying at Dragonheart?” Ray inquired. He wanted to keep Todd”s mind fixed on everyday real problems and situations and he was curious how Marty’s son had ended up under Todd’s roof.
When Todd didn’t answer, Blair looked at him and gave him a gentle elbow to get his attention back to the question at hand. “Hey Todd, Ray asked if Cole was a resident at Dragonheart.”
Todd blinked. He had been thinking about the boys and wondered if Jack had really accepted Starr’s explanation when Blair nudged him. He mildly rubbed where Blair had elbowed him, noting Blair’s outraged look as he made it seem like she had hurt him. It felt good to tease her. He then answered. “What? Oh yeah, the kid lives there. We’re all one big family. I mean, what was I supposed to do? He had nowhere to go after he got the pardon, and he was still healing from his wounds. I couldn’t let Hope’s dad end up on the street.”
Todd’s voice was getting stronger and he was making more and more sense. The IV was definitely beginning to get results. Ray smiled, he hadn’t missed the little interaction that had just taken place between Todd and Blair. Yep, Todd was fast becoming his old self again. “I think it’s great Todd. Now you say he’s going to start work at the paper. That’s really good.”
Blair had been surprised to hear about Todd’s job offer but then she recalled what had happened during and after dinner. It had completely slipped her mind that Todd had a conversation with Cole right before dinner. “You forgot to mention the job offer after dinner last night.”
“Yes well, my mind was thoroughly occupied on other matters at the time.” Todd rubbed a little lower down her belly, his hand headed for some fun.
Blair frowned at him and captured his hand. “Todd, Ray’s standing right here.” She was blushing.
Todd chuckled softly in her ear. “What’s the matter, Daisy Mae? Do you think Ray’s a virgin or something?”
“Todd!” she protested but couldn’t help laughing. This was the husband she loved and cherished. She had been so afraid for him earlier. The sheer terror on his face at one point that morning alarmed her the most. Todd had lived with his pain for many years, and only a small group of people had full knowledge of the extent of the damage he had sustained. Ray and Vicki were privy to a large quantity of the abuses and misfortunes that had hung over and hounded Todd all his life. They knew the fine line he walked to maintain his sanity. Now several others were becoming aware of the battles he had endured. Starr and surprisingly John McBain had both managed to see beneath Todd’s fragile wall to the man underneath. Blair shook her head and pushed the gloomy thoughts away. Todd had just made her laugh. She marveled at how he was able to do that.
“Hey, C note for your thoughts. Where did you zone out to?” Todd whispered in her ear and lightly nipped it.
It tickled and she brushed her hair back causing him to move his head away from her neck for just a moment. “They weren’t worth that much. You seem to be feeling better.”
“I am.” Todd looked around the room, all he saw was the equipment and Ray and Blair. His father’s ghost was nowhere in sight. “You were right. I’m not crazy,” he said meeting Ray’s eyes.
Ray smiled. “Maybe one of these days, you learn to finally trust your therapist. Until then, as your friend, I’m going to leave you two alone. I think it won’t be long now before Larry lets you out of here. But Todd, we do need to talk.”
“Thanks, Ray. I’ll call.” Todd leaned back against his pillow after Ray left, and quietly rubbed his hand across Blair’s stomach. “I’ve been given another chance to do things right. I can’t afford any more mistakes like last night. Mitch needs to be found and soon.”
“He’ll be found and put back where he belongs and then we can devote ourselves to this child and the rest of our family.” A nurse came in and took another blood sample, and then left them alone.
A little after nine in the morning, Starr showed up, cleared her throat, and saw the surprise on Todd’s face. “Dad, you okay?”
Todd opened his free arm and Starr rushed to his side and hugged him. “Shorty, I’m fine. I’m sorry I scared you and your mom last night. I did something stupid. No surprise there, right?”
Starr smiled, he seemed like himself and she could see her mom was relaxed next to him. She pulled her bag off her shoulder. “I’ve brought you some clothes. I know you want to get out of here as soon as they’ll let you. The boys went to school this morning with Shaun and didn’t have a clue what went down last night.”
Todd and Blair watched as she pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of her bag. He couldn’t help smiling, as he gathered he was going home “commando” and then he realized the only thing he was wearing was the stupid hospital gown. “Sheesh Blair, you could have left me with some dignity.” Blair looked at Starr and laughed.
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