Who's the Real Todd?, Ch. 39

With the noise around him, Todd could barely hear himself say her name. He tried once more to get her attention. "Blair," that was better it came out louder. She was turning toward him. She moved closer and he gazed up at the woman who had brought him back from death's door. He was glad he could see colors and something that resembled shapes again and this time when Blair moved he saw the movement as natural, not those sickening zig zag lines. He vaguely remembered Michael telling him about a second surgery and more of the implant being removed. God let that be it. Could he now just get on with his life. Looking at his wife he said, "Hi Blair" It felt good to be able to say that. It felt good to be alive.

Blair looked down at her husband and responded in kind. "Hi,  how are you feeling?  Are you in any pain? Can I get you anything? Talk to me."

Putting his hand where he guessed her lips might be, he tried to shush her. " Water, please," he croaked out.

Blair quickly went to get some water as the nurse moved in to check Todd's temperature to make sure he wasn't showing any signs of infection. She too asked if he was having any pain and he nodded. She asked him to just give her a number on a scale one to five, five being terrible. Todd responded with a three and the nurse said she would see about some medication to relieve it. She told him that Doctor McBain had asked to be informed when he woke up so she expected the doctor to arrive shortly.

With some water in hand, Blair came back and started to hand the water to Todd only to see his hand come up, but not exactly where the glass was. Disappointed she said. "Samuel your vision isn't any better is it," she had hoped when Michael removed the offending implant that Todd's sight would return but it wasn't the case. She put the cup in his hand and watched him drink it down. They really hadn't talked about how this development was going to affect everything.

Todd heard the disappointment, he hadn't had a chance to tell her there was some improvement, he was still trying to get his voice back. "Blair, it's not quite so bad " he whispered. "I can make out shapes and colors now like Samuel was able to but without the crazy zigzag lines. Everything is just indistinct, all fuzzy. It is an improvement maybe it won't be a long-lasting problem. We can find out when Michael gets here. " he tried to locate the tray but the movement was a little much for his head and a groan escaped involuntarily. Blair took the cup from him as he reached for his head. Michael entered and saw the whole thing and came over immediately.

"How bad is it, Samuel," he pulled out his flashlight and began looking in Samuel's eyes. The pupils were reacting a little sluggishly, but they did react to the light.

"Tolerable when I don't move." Todd gritted out. He was keeping talking to a minimum. It was too much effort right now. He was getting tired again. He knew it had only been hours since he had actually died, but he hated how helpless he felt.

Michael could tell Samuel really wasn't up to a lot of questions right this minute, but he had to get some answers. "Okay, we're going to do this quickly what's your wife name?"

"Blair."

"Good. When were you born?"

"1970"

Michael looked over at Blair and she nodded. "That's excellent. Now can you see the color of my shirt?"

Todd tried to look at Michael without moving his head, he saw a blur of white and near Michael's head he was able to make out something that looked a little green. "Green" he whispered, he was beginning to feel exceedingly tired and it was getting hard to breathe.

Michael realized Samuel was struggling to breathe and quickly grabbed the Oxygen tube and placed it on him. Samuel started breathing easier immediately. He drifted back to sleep and Michael turned to talk to Blair.

"He's lucky, there doesn't seem to be any mental or memory impairment. His pupils are still responding sluggishly, but there is some improvement because he is able to see color. As for his struggle just now to catch his breath that is to be expected. Everything is in recovery mode and his lungs, as well as his heart, will need time to get back to full strength. I'm afraid your honeymoon is going to have to be extended by a couple of days, I want to keep him for at least a few more days longer to make sure everything begins healing and to give his organs a chance to recover properly. I've made arrangements for you and him to have one of the suites the hospital has so we can keep an eye on him, but you both can have some privacy. Blair, he needs to take it easy. Don't let him talk you into anything too strenuous."

Blair had to blush, but she smiled and thanked Michael with a quick kiss. "Thank you for getting that thing out of him Michael. We're both extremely grateful."

"Blair I don't know where that thing came from but whoever designed it is well connected and I suspect very dangerous. You both need to be careful. I know Samuel wants to take on the man who did this to him. Blair, he needs to be cautious. He's still not out of the woods physically. Let my brother and Bo handle it from here on. "

"I'll try and keep him out of it Michael, but you have no idea how stubborn he really is."

"You know what Blair, I agree. He's so stubborn he refused to believe he was dying. That's the only explanation I've been able to come up with for his miraculous return from the dead. Now it's up to you to see to it he's around to enjoy his resurrection."

The next couple of days were quiet days with Todd slowly regaining his strength. Todd and Blair had several long talks with both the heart surgeon and Michael about what to expect concerning a full recovery. One of the talks they had with Michael was the discussion about a second person being part of the same experiment as Samuel. Michael was shocked to hear that the second person was Todd Manning. There was no love lost between Manning and Michael but after having seen the implant and then hearing about Manning's increasing headaches, Michael knew he would have to offer to remove the possible implant if Manning should wish it.

       Michael brought the implants in to show them to Samuel, and Blair was surprised to see them in two lead-lined compartments. Then Michael showed them the need for the special boxes. He took the jars and set them apart on Samuel's tray and they all watched fascinated and horrified as the jars made their way together.

        Blair felt like she was going to be sick and she buried her face into Todd's shoulder at the realization of those horrible things being in Todd. She shuddered to think what would have happened if they had never found out about them.

         Todd had been unable to see them clearly but he had seen enough to know the jars had moved of their own volition. He knew one thing, there was a dark place in his heart that was preparing for its chance to get even. Suddenly for the first time in days, a voice inside his head spoke up.

        "You bet your life we're getting our revenge. Those bastards almost killed us and I've had enough. You're not keeping me out of this Todd I mean it." Pete said.

        "Don't worry Pete. I've got something in mind I think you're going to love. If Samuel and I can piece together our memories about the facility I think we can pinpoint the lab. Once we find that lab and all the equipment, I have an idea on how to get the equipment. Ivan and Carlo will find out exactly who they messed with," Todd replied to his brother. " By the way, it's good to hear your voice. It's been awfully quiet. Did everyone make it?"

          "Yeah, we're all still here. Don't quite know how. We were dying with you. then suddenly we were back. How did you do it, Todd?" Pete was mystified.

         Todd had no answer but one. "You ought to know Pete. Tell me the one thing that would bring you back if you were in charge and be honest Pete."

        Pete looked out Todd's eyes and saw one thing only that pulled at him. He hated that she had that power over him but couldn't deny it. "We came back for her huh. Well, she's worth it but don't tell her I said so."

       "Your secret is safe with me Pete."

        Blair had seen Todd's eyes close and at first thought he had drifted off until she found those eyes once again looking at her. That was when she realized he might have been talking to his alters. She was relieved that they were still around because they provided Todd with some stability and she would have missed them if they had disappeared."You okay Samuel, those things didn't bother you. I can't believe anyone could subject someone to those things. It's diabolical."

        Michael had just put the two jars back in their containers and commented." It's more than diabolical, it's criminal and I hope these aid you both in getting the ones who did this to you, Samuel. I'll keep them safe until you are ready to leave. After everything you've told me, if these were just one of many such experiments then there are others out there beside you and Manning who have these things in them and they are all walking time bombs. The government needs to be told."

         Todd looked over in Michael's direction. "I intend to let them know. With the power of the Sun behind me, Manning and I will find a way to expose this to the world. The government will have to take notice. But I need to get off this subject. It's giving me a headache. Just looking at those blurs move brought the pain back. I know it just sympathetic but they're ghastly and it brings the memories back."

         Michael moved to check on Todd and took a moment to check out his sight again. "You're still just making out blurs then. Is anything getting clearer?"

        "The colors are sharper but that's it. Nothing is in focus. Sometimes I feel like I wish things were black. It's so frustrating, at least darkness doesn't make me sick. I'm virtually blind. Because of the fuzziness, I have no depth perception. I'm constantly misjudging how close or how far things are. How do I adjust to that Michael?" Todd was beginning to feel sorry for himself and kept trying to stop it but this situation was wearing on him.

        "Samuel, I know it's trying. You need to be patient. You had major surgery on your brain. That in itself needs to heal. You're never going to get back the cells lost to the implant and surgery but the fact that your perception of color is improving gives me hope that you might someday get your vision restored. On top of that, you were clinically dead, we have no idea all the ramifications and effects that had on everything including your sight. You need to just take it one day at a time. Get your strength back and the rest will follow. I'm going to leave you two alone. I'll have the nurse bring you something for the headache, Samuel. If you continue to improve I think we might be able to let you go home in a couple more days. I'm going to send someone in to help you learn to cope with the vision problem, Samuel. They understand what you're going through and they'll help you adjust. Give them a chance." Michael patted Samuel on the shoulder and picked up the case of implants and left.

        Blair had been listening quietly to the conversation and as Michael left she spoke up. "Todd, I'm here to help, I know you're frustrated but we will get this figured out. You heard Michael. He said you could possibly regain your vision and he seemed optimistic. It's still early days yet. Will you let me help?"

        He looked at Blair and heard the love and the plea in her voice. Parts of him didn't want her seeing him like this, he felt helpless but another part of him was telling him that it was time to trust and let her help. "Alright let's do this. You brought me back from the dead. I trust you to help me find my way around a room."The next thing he knew she was covering him in kisses, laughing, and crying at the same time. He decided he would never fully understand her but he grabbed her and returned her kisses tenfold.

        After a few minutes, they separated as Todd was beginning to get light-headed. "Whoa, need to breathe now," he said weakly and Blair started to jump off his lap in alarm but Todd held her tight. "Don't go, I'll be alright just need time to catch my breath. Don't ever think I don't want to kiss you, or that you're in any way hurting me. I love you Blair." he just held her and she laid her head on his shoulder letting him get his breath back. God, she didn't realize just how good it felt to just hold her. He never wanted to let her go. He brought his hand up and just gently ran his fingers through her hair, loving the feel of it in his hands. She snuggled deeper into his lap almost purring with pleasure as he played with her hair. He smiled and felt himself beginning to get sleepy.  He continued to play with her hair letting his eyes close and just slowly relaxed until he drifted off to sleep.

       With Blair's help, Todd made progress figuring out how to maneuver around the room without too many mishaps. But he made even bigger strides when the Therapist showed up and started guiding him using the tried and true methods of counting steps to certain objects and retaining a mental image of the places of everything in the room. He was helped by the fact that he did see something. Which prevented a lot of falls. Two things made the difference for him, though. Whenever he put on dark glasses it took away a little of the overall fuzziness and he found himself better able to judge the placement of things and then he was instructed in the use of the latest mobility aid device.

       It looked something like a laser pointer but actually transmitted the whereabouts of items around you and sent different signals to the holder, that let the holder know the distance to the objects in front of him. Todd was soon amazed by how quickly he adapted to the device. He was also relieved that he could get around without the usual cane. There were still some stumbling blocks though as he found out when he and Blair made his first official walk outside since the surgery.

        It was an unusually beautiful day in Seattle and Todd really was enjoying it too much and got careless. He had done pretty well making it down to the ground level without anyone's help but when he stepped out into the sunlight he really hadn't been prepared for the bright sun and its effect on his vision. Even his alters had cried out when the sun hit his eyes. Then he realized what the problem was. Michael had told him he would have a dislike for bright light for a while because his pupils were very slow in reacting right now, it was like they were dilated. Todd had stopped abruptly when the light had blinded him, he had closed his eyes because he felt like they were burning. Blair had been walking beside him and had seen him waver so she stopped and came up to him as he struggled to find his glasses. "They're in your left-hand pocket Todd." he found them and breathed a sigh of relief putting them on. Opening his eyes again, he felt Blair's hand wiping away the tears that had formed from the pain. He snagged her hand and gave it a quick kiss then continued to hold it as they began their walk.

        "What do you see, Todd?" she asked as she viewed that garden spreading out in front of her.
         "If I were to describe it as Samuel, I would say it looks like someone took a painting and washed it underwater. Everything runs together in muted pastels nothing is defined." he turned to look at Blair and realized that she almost blended into the background and for a moment he panicked. "God Blair don't leave me. I'm afraid I'll lose you in all these colors."

         Blair reached up with her other hand and touched his face. Her eyes were filling with tears. She had heard the fear and panic in his voice and knew he was so out of his element with this loss. He hated being helpless and now he was forced to rely on her and devices to aid him. It was just one more nail in Carlo's coffin. "I'm right here beside you and not going anywhere. Why don't you use the new gizmo of your's Test it out on the tree and see how far it is to it."

        He looked around trying to distinguish the tree and then thought he spotted it. He raised the device and aimed it at what he hoped was the tree and was rewarded with the device telling him with a computer voice that the object was ten feet away. He carefully started walking toward the tree when the device went off again and warned of something in his path two feet away. Todd hadn't been looking anywhere but at the tree, but something was in his path. Todd looked around and realized there was a small bench directly in front of him he hadn't seen. He made a mental note of being sure and looking at the ground in front of him occasionally. Luckily the sensor had picked up the bench or he would have fallen flat on his face.

       Todd moved the last two feet until his calf touched it then he turned and sat down looking back where he had left Blair. Once again he started to panic when he couldn't make her out but then he heard Samuel talking to him.

        "Take it easy. It's not as bad as you think. Picture her form in your head and try to find that form among all the others in front of you. Take your time. Now, remember the color you saw her wearing this morning in your room." 

        Todd closed his eyes and recalled how Blair had looked standing in front of him. She was wearing what he guessed to be blue jeans and a great bright blue top. Todd opened his eyes and looked for the blue, the bright blue specifically and then he spotted her. Because of Samuel, she began to stand out from the rest of the scenery.

          She watched Todd make his way toward the tree and then she had seen the bench but before she could warn him the device had alerted him and he had stopped and taken a seat on the bench. She saw him searching the area where he had left her and she worried he might panic again but suddenly she saw him smiling and he appeared to be looking at her.

        Todd couldn't help but smile when he realized he could make her out against all the other colors. "Hey beautiful, don't you know it's not safe for a woman to be out alone. Want to go up to my place." he grinned and watched as she sauntered over to him and sat down.

        "Charming, don't tell me that's how you pick up all your women," Blair stated with a hint of laughter in her voice.

         "Hell no, just the drop-dead gorgeous ones. Love one in particular, though. Maybe you've heard of her, a Mrs, Samuel Toddman. Now she's a sight to behold. How about it sweetheart? I live here. Let's go up to my place and I'll show you a good time." he leaned into her the way he had done that night in Rodi's and Blair laughed.

         "You know what Mister, I think I'll take you up on that. Maybe it's just what the doctor ordered."

          "Lady, you bet I'm what the doctor ordered. Come with me." Todd returned to his feet and held out his arm to her. Blair grabbed on and snuggled close as they started back for the hospital. What Blair didn't realize was that they were headed in the wrong direction and suddenly they came upon the street and before she could say something Todd was off-balance as he stepped and wasn't aware of the step. Only the fact that she was walking so close to him helped him regain his balance before he ended up flat on the ground.

        "Damn, I don't remember that step. I guess we got turned around." He looked around but everything for him was the same. If Blair hadn't been there who knows where he would have ended up. He was feeling cold all of a sudden. "Blair, I'm cold which way do we go?"

         She could tell from his voice something was wrong she looked around and saw the hospital further to their left. They had just taken the wrong path, the street led to the emergency room entrance. Rather than go back she followed the street to the emergency entrance and found their way to the main lobby from there. Todd had been quiet all the way just holding her elbow and letting her lead, the way the therapist taught them. As they entered the room he released her and made his way to the bed. He just stood there and she saw his shoulders shaking. She grabbed the blanket off the bed and proceeded to wrap it around him. She made him sit down on the bed and taking his hands in hers, she said. "Todd I know you're scared, what happened must have terrified you. It was a fluke. I forgot I was the seeing party and I let you do the leading. You didn't do anything wrong and you weren't that far off from the original direction. This is just going to take time to get used to," She lifted his face to hers. "We will get through this together I guarantee it and you will be able to see again. You need to believe that. We can overcome anything because it's us against the world. Don't forget that." he had stopped shaking and was looking at her. She gave him a kiss and had him lay down and she sat next to him until he fell asleep again, exhausted from the fear of the moment.