Don't Shoot the "Messenger", Ch. 48

Todd awoke slowly, his head was pounding. What the hell had happened? The memory came flooding back. “Blair!” Opening his eyes, he was disoriented by the darkness and feared his blindness had returned. Blind or not he had to get to Blair. He started to get up but was pushed back down by a hand on his shoulder and then a light was being shown into his eyes.

“Easy Todd, I need you to just relax and rest. You had another close call tonight. The psychological shock you sustained, combined with your panic attack, caused your blood pressure to bottom out. You’re going to be a little sore. We had to jumpstart you a couple of times before your heart and pressure rebounded. Don’t be surprised if you have a headache too.” Larry finished speaking, as Todd put up a hand to shield his eyes from Larry’s flashlight.

“So that isn’t a jackhammer going off in my brain, just some of your handiwork. Let me up, I’ve got to get to Blair”

“Blair’s right here, and she’s sleeping now. She and the baby are going to be okay.”

Larry reached behind Todd’s bed and turned on a low light so Todd could make out his wife’s form on the bed next to his. They had her resting on her side so she could see him when she woke up. “There’s nothing you can do tonight.”

“Tell me the truth Larry, I know the bastard raped her. How is Blair really doing?”

“Physically, her wounds will heal and the baby is out of danger for the present. The shock she experienced raised her blood pressure to a critical level and that’s why she and the baby were having problems. Her blood pressure is back under control, but given the whipping, she was put through, her body is stressed. I won’t kid you, Todd, this is going to take time. On top of it all, she’s going to need some help getting past the trauma of the rape. You’ll need to be patient. You also need to let your own body rest.”

“Why? You said it was just the shock of the evening. I can’t stay in this bed. I’ve got to get to my kids. They’re probably frantic, wanting to know about Blair.” He attempted to sit up but found out he was no match for Larry at that moment.

“Todd, I mean it, you have to relax.” Larry pushed him back down easily. “Didn’t you hear me? We almost lost you earlier. When you collapsed at my feet, you were in worse shape than Blair. Starr, Jack, and Vicki have been camped outside this room for several hours. If you’ll calm down, I’ll let them in, but I don’t want you getting worked up. Blair is sedated so she’ll sleep, don’t make me have to do the same to you.”

Todd lifted his arms in surrender, realizing just how weak he felt. But he needed to see his kids. “Larry, let them in. I promise to behave.”

The door opened and Starr, Jack, and Vicki entered. Starr wasted no time and immediately hugged her dad. “Dad, thank God you’re alright. We’ve been so worried.”

Todd hugged his daughter. He felt bad because they shouldn’t have had to be worrying about him with their mother so hurt. “I’m sorry Shorty, I wanted to be strong for your mom, but my body let me down. I should have been there for both of you.” He looked over at Jack hanging back. It hurt that Jack couldn’t bring himself to show him how he was feeling. They had been working on getting closer, but Jack was still reluctant to let him in all the way.

“Dad, stop that,” Starr said, “You were strong for Mom. You found her and got her here. That’s what’s important. She’s doing alright. Dr. Wolek said she and the baby are going to be okay. We know what happened to her. John told us someone beat her and left her alone in the forest. If you found her like that, it‘s no wonder you reacted the way you did.” Starr looked over at her sleeping mother. She gulped. She still had no real idea what kind of beating her mother had taken. She had glimpsed some bandages on Blair’s back, but with the exception of some bruises on her face, her mother appeared to be in decent shape.

Todd noticed Starr’s glance. He was grateful, that outwardly Blair didn’t appear too badly hurt. The kids couldn’t see her back, and just thinking about it made him sick. He closed his eyes to get his stomach under control. When he opened them back up, he saw the concern on all their faces. “I’m okay. Your mom went through something pretty bad out there and she‘s going to need all our support.” Jack still hadn’t said anything, Todd sighed. “Jack, come here.” He waited patiently as Jack joined his sister. “Are you alright? You don’t have to be brave for me, I know you must be scared for your mom.”

Jack just nodded, he was afraid if he spoke he’d start blubbering like a little kid.

“Jack, I know you’re a lot like me and you feel you got to be strong and not show your emotions. But frankly, it’s not working for me right now. I don’t feel strong, I’m a mess and if you can find it in you, I could really use your hug right now.” Todd’s voice cracked, as his emotions got the better of him.

Jack looked at his father and saw the tears in his eyes. He had been so scared a couple of hours ago when they arrived at the hospital. He had heard them trying to shock his father’s heart and had wondered if his dad was going to die. Now he broke down and leaned over to hug him, just wanting to know he was really still there.

Todd controlled the sob threatening to get loose and held tightly to his son. These were his children, his flesh and blood, and both were more important to him than breathing. After a few moments, he patted his son’s back. “Thanks, Jack. It’s going to be alright now.” Jack stood back up and wiped his arm across his eyes as Todd did almost the same thing. They both smiled slightly at the other’s movement. Starr brushed the tears quickly from her eyes and hugged her brother around his waist. She gave her father a small smile.

Vicki moved in closer to smile down at her brother. Under the lights, Todd would swear, she too had a glimmer of tears in her eyes. “Starr, Jack, you might want to get a drink or something now that your dad is awake. I’ll keep him company until you return.”

Jack looked at his sister, indicating he needed a moment to regroup. “ Dad, do you mind? We’ll be right back.” Starr asked.

Todd nodded, “Go ahead you two, I’m not going anywhere.” He could tell Jack needed the time.

Once the kids left the room he looked at his sister. He vaguely recalled hearing her talking to him. “Hi, Sis, how did you find out about all of this?”

“I caught your act on TV and came to support you. There was one problem, you had collapsed by the time I got here.” replied Vicki.

Todd winced, remembering his assault on the one reporter. “Yeah, the reporters,...I just wasn’t expecting them there. Foolish me. I should have known they’d be all over a story about Blair missing.

“I must say, I was a little shocked at your behavior, but since I’ve been here and found out what happened to Blair, I don’t blame you in the slightest. Todd, Starr is right, don’t go blaming yourself for your collapse. You received a tremendous shock last night when you found Blair. Give yourself a little slack. The main thing is that you survived and now you just need to rest and let your body recuperate a little.” She reached over and covered his hand.

Todd stared at his sister. She had been there for him more times than he could count. Even now, given all that had happened recently in her life, she still was with him, giving him support. He turned his hand over and squeezed hers. “You amaze me, Vicki. Someone kidnapped your daughter and grandson and yet you’re worried about me. I have given you so much grief in the past. I don’t understand it. You opened your heart to me long ago and let me in as your brother. If it weren’t for you, I would have self-destructed years ago. Hell, I’d probably be dead. Why do you do it?”

“I think you know why. We’ll always have a connection that goes deeper than blood. We grew up fine-tuned by two monsters and we survived, surprisingly more intact then we should have been. I need you around, you’re my counterpart, and I love you. It’s as simple as that.”

Todd smiled, “I’m not sure if I ever told you this, but I love you, too. Just don’t tell anyone else I said it.”

“Your secret is safe with me Todd, as is the truth you’re trying to keep from the kids. I’m so sorry Todd, for you, and especially for Blair.” Vicki watched as Todd’s eyes welled up with tears and his grip on her hand tightened.

He had been holding it together pretty good, but Vicki’s sincere sympathy was more than he could stand. His eyes fell on his sleeping wife. She looked so peaceful at that moment, then in his mind’s eye, he saw her once again hanging from that tree, stripped bare, beaten and mauled. He would kill Mitch for what he did.

Vicki tugged at her hand, freeing it before Todd could crush it, as she sensed the change from sorrow to anger. “Don’t Todd, I can see it on your face. Don’t go there right now. Your thoughts need to be on Blair and helping her, not on revenge.”

Todd’s eyes were cold when he looked at her. “I turned away and let the man live twice before and I ended up buried next to our dear demented father. He’s haunted my dreams continually since he escaped from prison and now he’s hurt Blair. There’s no way in hell, I’m going to let that bastard live.”

“Todd, are you saying this is Mitch’s doing?” Vicki felt sick, she had known they suspected Mitch of having something to do with Natalie’s disappearance. The text message had led them to believe if Mitch didn’t have Natalie, then his followers certainly did; but no one had any idea where the Messenger’s followers were. If Todd was right, Mitch was still in the vicinity. “How do you know it was Mitch?”

“He marked her, Vicki, just like he marked me.” His hand went to his cheek tracing the second scar, as his voice shook indicating how upset he really was. “She was hurt because of me.” Suddenly he began crying unable to stop the tears he had been holding back since finding Blair. He laid there his body shaking from grief.

Vicki’s eyes welled with tears and she gathered her brother into her arms hugging him and giving him comfort. “Shh...It isn’t your fault. You’re not responsible for that man’s atrocities. He’s evil, pure evil and I know that someday he’ll meet his end. But my concern is for you. Hush now, you’re going to make yourself sicker. Blair and the baby need you more than ever and you’ll never forgive yourself if you let them down.” Todd stilled and she released him as he pushed away from her.

Todd wiped his eyes and composed himself. He knew his kids would be returning any minute and was determined to be strong in front of them. They needed him to be their father and he would be, no matter how much it was killing him inside. He got himself together not a minute too soon, as Jack and Starr reentered.

Starr took a hard look at her father and knew something was wrong, but she also knew from experience that he wasn’t going to get into whatever was bothering him. Obviously, they had been discussing her mother.

Vicki reached over and patted her brother’s hand, “You talk to your children, I want to go have a chat with Larry. I’ll be back.”

Todd grabbed her hand quickly before she left. “Vicki...” He really needed her at that moment, as he realized he must tell both Jack and Starr more about their mother.

“You’ll do fine. Remember, you’re a survivor because you’re strong.” She smiled at the kids and left them with their father.

Starr and Jack moved closer to their dad. They knew he was going to tell them what happened and they both realized it wasn’t going to be pleasant. “Dad you don’t have to do this right now. You just woke up from a near-death experience brought on by what you encountered finding Mom. We know a little bit about what happened to her. We’ll help her as much as we can to get over it.”

Todd cleared his throat. “I’m not sure you can fully help her if you don’t know the whole story. I keep asking myself just how much should you be told? Is it important you know all the details? Would your mother want you to know everything? You tell me. If you want the full picture, I’ll fill you in, but decide now because I’m not certain if I’ll be able to tell you later.”

Jack looked at his father. He could see that something was eating away at his father about the attack and knew how he had felt when John told them about the beating. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear all the details. “Dad, I think Starr is right. You don’t have to tell us anything. You almost died. I don’t want you to work yourself up right now. We’ll do anything you say to make things easier for her.”

Starr jumped in. “I don’t need to hear the details, Dad. I don’t think Jack wants to hear them either. The main thing is that Mom is going to get better and so are you. Like Jack said, whatever you say goes. We’ll pamper the heck out of Mom and the baby. You should just lie back and rest now. In the morning, we’ll plan our strategy for getting Mom past this.”

He had been starting to feel light-headed and knew his anxiety level had risen at the mere thought of telling his children about their mom’s true condition when he found her. Now they were giving him an out, and coward that he was, he was going to take it. He wasn’t ready to relive it any more than they wanted to hear it. He leaned back into his pillow suddenly feeling tired.

Larry entered the room with Vicki and seeing Todd’s elevated blood pressure decided to call a halt to the visit. “I think it’s time to call it a night, Todd. Starr, you two can stay, but he really needs to sleep and your mom won’t wake up until morning, it might be better if you call it a night too.”

“We’ll go Dr. Wolek. Sam will want to know what happened in the morning and I should be there to tell him. Dad, we’ll be back later on. Get some sleep.” She kissed him and watched as Jack touched his father’s hand in goodbye. Then they both gave kisses to their mom and prepared to leave.

“Children, if you give me a moment, I’ll take you both home,” Vicki said. She turned back to her brother and could see the energy draining from him. “You heard Starr, get some sleep. You can take on all your demons tomorrow.” She too gave him a light kiss on the cheek and followed her niece and nephew out.

Larry dimmed the lights again and headed out. With any luck, he might be able to grab a little bit of sleep too.

Todd was just drifting off when he heard the crying. It only took a moment for him to realize it was coming from Blair. Struggling to get out of bed, he stood gingerly until his legs held him. Thankfully the cables monitoring his heart proved to be just long enough for him to reach Blair’s bed, he knew if he removed them it would bring everyone running. Her crying was tearing him apart as he brushed her face. “Shh Babe, I’m here.”

He slid in next to her and she immediately moved onto his chest like she did every night. He didn’t know if it was just habit or if she was really awake, and it didn’t matter. She snuggled close as he carefully wrapped an arm around her, trying to avoid as much of her back as possible. Her body shook as she cried. “Blair you’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He took the hand on his chest and began massaging it gently with his thumb. He felt a small kick from his child, and his heart gave thanks that she, too, was still with them. If the baby had perished, he knew Blair would never have been the same. “Our baby is okay. You’re both going to make it,” he whispered softly reassuring her. She never said a word and slowly her sobs ceased and her soft breath across his chest told him she had fallen back asleep. He leaned back, just listening to her breathe. He was grateful that she still wanted to be held by him, and finally, he joined her in sleep.